7 a.m.- What the heck is that bizarre hellish chirruping noise? Almost like a chirping bird, almost like a mechanical cat tied in a sack being sent up river. I slam the array of buttons on the Alarm 3000 that I'm testing out this week hoping it shuts the damn thing up. Wait! Where the heck am I? I don't recognize the duvet cover I'm sleeping under. Oh right, I put a new one on last night from that store that only makes things out of bamboo and hemp. The indigo blue color is dyed by real ancient Phoenicians!7:05 a.m.- In the bathroom jackhammering my teeth with the latest Sonic toothbrush and wishing I had some Novocaine or maybe anti-nausea medicine. This toothbrush might seek to eradicate gingivitis but it is also systematically wiping my gums clean out of my mouth! Only the … [Read more...]