The Mummy Chronicles

Where's Mummy?

2010-09-01T10:58:00.000-04:00

Besides looking for cat naps and beginning to feel like a milking machine? I've been up to a few things despite my lack of blogging activity.

In review news I'm talking about Team Mom reviews including mOmma bottles and cups and Magical Moon Dough.

The Toshiba Satellite U505 pretty pink laptop has left me sad since it has departed from my abode but the review is stellar.

At Juno Baby I relay my deep, dark magazine addiction in "Confessions of a Magazine Addict", despite the fondue photo of TD I discuss my strategy in "Getting my Kids to Eat a Good Dinner", plus "Kids Day the Darnedest Things"

I promise there is more to come.

Losing a Job- Like the Five Stages of Grief

2010-08-30T13:00:00.000-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date July 25, 2008.

It has been one month since my husband walked through our front door suddenly unemployed. Laid off. One month of us spending time together as a family, having long, quiet talks about everything from the state of our finances, job searching and health insurance quandaries to who we are as a family.

During this past month we have frozen our gym memberships, eliminated contributions to our daughter's college fund and taken away all of life's tiny luxuries that we often take for granted when stockpiling unnecessary items at the grocery store, Target and almost everywhere else. It's been all about less waste and less consumption this past month and we are probably all the better for it. I have however noticed one small thing.

Losing a job is similar to the five stages of grief. Since December my husband knew that lay-offs were occurring in his company. He also knew that he was no longer happy there yet he was right smack in the middle of the land of Denial. He refused to believe that he would be laid off anytime soon. It did not matter how stressed out I became with the possible situation. He was like a petulant toddler. I could not rip the mask of denial from his eyes and make him see that he needed to begin looking for work elsewhere.

As more cutbacks were made and more people eliminated step number two kicked in, Anger. His refusal to see the situation in its true light turned into anger about the situation in general and about having to look for more work. Nothing could make him happy. There would be no standard talks or even pleas to begin finding another job. He claimed he just didn't feel "compelled or motivated enough" to do so. To say that the anger was his and his alone at this point would be an understatement. I was infuriated by this lack of "motivation". It was a bit like trying to get a toddler to do something they really don't want to do, like potty training.

Suddenly, once the iron fist of full unemployment weighed down on him he was on to step three lickety split. Bargaining. Here is where my husband promised that he would no longer work on our real estate investment company's business while doing his next job. It was the quickest of the stages and produced one of my favorite results. Less burnout on his behalf, no longer working two jobs, with me in no way capable of keeping up relieved a lot of stress from our lives. It also reminded me of the tactics my daughter uses just before bedtime. "One more story Mommy? I will go to bed after one more story, I promise..."

This brings us to stage four, Depression. I wish I could say this one was swift as well, but it wasn't. For about one day a week if not more a funk would set in, especially the first week, and my normally happy- go-lucky, talkative spouse would suddenly decide that living in our basement/cave was the best place for him. He would skulk around the house staying up late at night forever staring at job boards on the computer screen becoming almost green from the glow. Growling and grunting became his standard forms of communication followed by long periods of complete silence and staring. As companies began to notice his resume and he garnered interviews the depression lifted and he became a bit more like his old self. If however, he didn't hear anything for a few days post-interview, we were right back into the land of depression.

The final stage, Acceptance is the most gratifying when it comes to job loss. With it has come extreme motivation to find a new job and some actual job offers it seems. While we are not out of the woods yet, health insurance won't kick in until October 1 and my pregnant butt still has to rely on the uber-expensive COBRA plan, we have found that we have not only do we stick together like glue but we have been lucky in this unemployed situation. Oh, and one more thing. That the five stages of grief are also akin to one full day living with a toddler.

Comments

MamaBird/SurelyYouNest said...

I was on COBRA while pregnant too (blechhh). Made me think long and hard about how lucky I was to have health insurance at all. Great post - hang in there, I'm impressed by your sense of humor and taking it all in stride *as a family*.

Reply July 25, 2008 at 11:37 AM Karen Waters said...

My husband was fired from his job of over 15 years two days after Christmas. I was shell-shocked, but it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to us. He opened his own business and is still running it successfully 8 years later.

I hope your husband's layoff turns out as positive as ours did!

Karen

http://findingme.typepad.com

Reply July 25, 2008 at 11:49 AM Andrea said...

You seem to be handling it very well, even while pregnant, and it sounds like some of the stresses are lifting. You're still in my thoughts.

Reply July 25, 2008 at 12:31 PM Liza said...

Ok, this post reminded me of why I love the Internet, and this community in particular.

Today marks the 2 week anniversary of my being told that I'm getting laid off, effective mid-September. C-section #2 is scheduled for 5 weeks from today, 2 weeks before layoff date.

Thanks for making me feel less alone.

Reply July 25, 2008 at 01:53 PM feener said...

ok, this post scares me b/c my hubby's company has been laying off for almost 2 years. he feels the pressure yet he has not sent one resume out. i have tried coaxing him...i always get 'i will soon' never to happen.

Reply July 25, 2008 at 03:08 PM BananaBlueberry said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

If it is any consolation- I know that I could not write such an eloquent and articulate post about my husband being laid off- while being pregnant.

Again, you have always been 'that smart upbeat mom' to me...

I'm thinking about you :)

Reply July 27, 2008 at 06:18 PM Vicky said...

Wow- everyone thank you so much for the continued support and belief in me and my family. It means so much and it makes me well up with emotion.

I guess I don't know how else to be besides trying to be upbeat at this point. I spent the months before the lay off sleepless and stressed over it's possibility and now there is nothing left in that dept. for me to give.

It's Nice to Know They Care

2010-08-27T11:41:00.000-04:00

As I was running through the aisles, child-free and out of the house for the first time in over a week (huzzah!), this caught my eye making me stop in my tracks. Is this a new attempt to counter-act that bloated, tired pmsy feeling?

One Week Down

2010-08-25T13:38:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that one week ago today The Fifth Element entered this world. Before I couldn't imagine her in it. Today, I already cannot fathom the idea of her not being part of our family.

In just a few quick years we went from a family of two, plus one insane dog, to a family of five. It absolutely blows my mind. I still refuse to drive a minivan.

Love how everyone looks so well rested in this photo except for me. Shortly after this picture was taken I passed out for an almost two hour nap.

More to come.

Kid's Parties- Is It Just Keeping Up With the Joneses?

2010-08-25T06:59:00.001-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post from February 27, 2008.

My daughter turned two this weekend. Yes, I know, it is hard to believe. I can barely wrap my brain around it either. However, you know what the hardest part of her turning two was for me? It was- To have a party or not to have a party? It was the ultimate question on my mind. What would people think if we opted out of this birthday milestone? Would we be labeled as bad, unloving parents?

I drove myself mad with this conundrum. I wanted so badly for her birthday to go right I kind of freaked out. There were blog posts about it. I consulted friends and family. Everyone had an opinion and an idea of what I should be doing or forgetting all together. When it came right down to it I felt like my husband and I would be pretty bad parents if we went, what I call the "70s route".

The "70s Route" is a term I use whenever I refer to how things were done when I was a kid. Meaning, no big fuss, usually family-oriented and things were simple. I sometimes think my whole parenting style could be some bad retro comedy in itself except that I'm wearing 'flared' or 'boot-cut' jeans and not bell bottoms.

But I digress...

After talking it over with my husband and feeling that it would make no difference to our daughter we opted for a family day. Meaning just us. Not even grandparents. Why go nuts and spend gobs of money for a kid that did not fully absorb the concept of a birthday anyway? Instead, we made waffles for breakfast complete with extra syrup and let our cutie assist in the making of her cake. She ate raw cake batter too. Before breakfast. The shame. We took the tot to Toys R Us and had just as much fun as she did playing with balls, bikes and blocks. My spouse had to rip me from the Wii games section as I claimed to no avail that the trivia games and underwater discovery discs were for our kid and not me. We spent almost two hours wandering the aisles of this kiddie holy land until we decided to take her out for a birthday lunch. When posed with the question, "Red Robin or Thai?" She yelled out, "I eat Thai food!" So there you go.

It was a good day. Full of fun, presents (the kid got a cart of toys, clothes and more from friends and family) and good old fashioned from the box Duncan Hines cake with chocolate frosting. She wore a birthday crown and blew out her candles. She ran around the house on a sugar high yelling, "BIRTHDAY!" and I have to say I was a bit envious. That 'no care in the world' attitude is infectious but it is also hard to sustain as an adult.

It made me realize that all my fussing and analyzing over what would be the perfect way to spend her day was not only ridiculous but not about her and more about me. I cared more about how other people would view me as a parent if I didn't throw my child a party than I did about the actual day. That is not only insane but also not the '70s route' I so adore. After having all that fun in such an easy manner I've learned something. Next year? I'm not throwing a party then either. Unless of course she wants me to and if that is the case, then she can plan it.

Comments

Stephv said...

Right on for you for common sense. So much of kids stuff (comparing grades, sports teams,etc..) is for the ego feeding of the parents or the need to "look" a certain way. I say who cares?

Here in Silicon valley helicopter parenting has reached absurd

levels, preschools are chosen for their college cachet and God forbid little Katie eats a Cheetoh or anything that is not from Whole Foods.

Retro rocks.

Reply February 27, 2008 at 08:23 AM Gunfighter said...

Brava!

I think that you did the right thing.

Reply February 27, 2008 at 09:36 AM Linda said...

yes, I have to say that we've done this twice now and this is the first year...my oldest is turning four that he has even asked about a party, guests, cake, etc. We're still going the super easy route. Cake at the playground!!!

Reply February 27, 2008 at 10:20 AM Sue said...

That is MY KIND OF PARTY! Way to go. What is better than pancakes and raw cake batter for breakfast?

Another 70s mom here.

Reply February 27, 2008 at 11:20 AM Andrea said...

Good for you!! We like to keep it simple, too. No big parties. The birthday boy gets to pick what he wants for breakfast and dinner, though hubs likes to go all out on making the birthday cakes.

Reply February 27, 2008 at 01:43 PM natalie said...

Yay for the 70's route! I've got a 6-month-old, and I've found myself already thinking about how we'll celebrate his first birthday. Crazy, no? I love the family only silliness approach, and now have the perfect name for it. I keep hearing about the pressure to put together the perfect goodie bags for kids to take away from your parties - way too much stuff and way too much pressure for me! Thanks for this!

Reply February 28, 2008 at 06:49 AM Kristin DeLoach, Graco said...

I love it 70's style! That's the route my husband and I chose for our little lady. Simple, classic fun is the most memorable. Plus we wanted to keep it focused on the "guest of honor" and not everyone else.

By the way, to this day I still ask for that artifical strawberry flavored Duncan Hines cake with the bright pink strawberry icing -fortunately my mom stills obliges :)

Reply February 28, 2008 at 03:10 PM svmom3 said...

Two amazing first birthday ideas I've heard of:

a bubbles party. This one is all about the adults anyway, so pass the champagne (and have a few bottles of bubble soap for people who arrive with toddlers to play with) (I know several people who have gone this route; one who blames bubbles parties on why her kids are all spaced 1 year and 9 months apart)

a thank you ladies for your support party. Leave baby home with dad, and go out with all the women who supported you at the birth and beyond (midwife, doula, close friends, etc). go home and take photo of kid and cake later.

Reply February 28, 2008 at 03:14 PM Vicky said...

Awesome Kristen! I love the strawberry cake and frosting. That was my 6th birthday cake and I still think of it fondly!

Reply February 29, 2008 at 05:20 AM terri said...

my hubs grew up w/the full-fleged bday parties. my parents didnt have the means, just cake & candles. my hubs still smiles remembering. and i see the same in my friends' children, who would plan and anticipate months in advance. so for us, it's not keepin up with the jones, but creating these wonderous-filled moments for our children. cause to be perfectly honest, i'm alittle envious of my hubs' childhood.

Reply March 02, 2008 at 07:34 AM Violet said...

I'm so glad to hear someone else say this! My daughter turns two next week, and we're planning a day at the aquarium and a cake at home. My mother is SO disappointed with me, and thinks I'm terrible for not throwing a party, but we don't know that many kids her age, and I really don't see the point. She'll have more fun at the aquarium with us, and isn't she the one that matters?

Reply March 03, 2008 at 06:12 AM selfmademom said...

It's funny you wrote this because I have a post in queue that I will put up tonight about how I can't put on a low key birthday party no matter how hard I try. But I actually am having fun with it. I think that if it's not fun anymore then it's not worth it.

Reply March 05, 2008 at 07:05 PM children party clowns ny said...

such a very interesting post, i had fun reading it. i am sure your child's birthday party was a splash.

Is That a Hooker on my Block?

2010-08-24T06:16:00.000-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Orginial post date June 15, 2008

It started with a late night knock on a neighbors door. Then another neighbor and another. Slowly, the houses on one side of the street all began experiencing late night visitors. Especially if they had a red door. In the last few weeks the street traffic on my block has increased and it comes in the form of a John it seems.

That's right. You heard me.

We seem to have some prostitution brewing on our street.

In an area that looks suspiciously like a cross between Disney's 'It's a Small World' village and the movie set of 'Pleasantville' our block has suddenly gotten a lot of late night callers. All of them heading to the same location in the dead of night. Many leaving in the early hours of the morning. One gentleman had the cops called on his butt after banging on the wrong 'red door' (Yes, they are indeed directed to a red door and not a red light. I can't make this stuff up!) of his "girlfriends" house last weekend. Instead of investigating the police just told him that next time he should have the address of his so-called girlfriend.

At first, I laughed it off. Seriously, a hooker on my street? We live smack in the middle of dulls-ville. Excitement happens when the ice cream man arrives or a dog is let loose. The HOA sends out notices about goose poop and unrepaired fence lines, not ladies of the night. However, the bevy of women in outfits that remind me of the streetwalkers typically seen at 2 a.m. on the streets of D.C. coming and going from one red-doored house recently have made me a believer. The sheer number of lone men that have begun ambling down our sidewalks in search of the red door only to go to the wrong location is no longer laughable but becoming a problem. The question is, how do we solve it?

As a street do we band together and fight against this house with its non-stop flow of traffic or do we turn a blind eye and hope that we are mistaken? For now, it seems a majority of the block is content to watch the circus go by each night. I, for one, am gathering evidence because who knows, it could be something more.

Comments

Yasmin said...

Wow! I would definitely talk to your neighbors, and maybe seeks some legal aid? Maybe they can give you a better understanding what your legal rights are keeping your neighborhood safe? Good luck!

Reply June 15, 2008 at 05:39 AM whymommy said...

If I were the other neighbor, I would repaint my door. :-)

Seriously, I don't know what to do, but I bet your local police would have some advice or tips. Maybe you could call them and just ask for advice? Mention that you have kids and it's strange to now have such traffic going through the neighborhood (by car or on foot)? Mention that you're worried, and ask for advice on how to handle it?

Be careful about confronting the neighbor, though ... your safety must come first.

Reply June 15, 2008 at 08:24 AM whymommy said...

If I were the other neighbor, I would repaint my door. :-)

Seriously, I don't know what to do, but I bet your local police would have some advice or tips. Maybe you could call them and just ask for advice? Mention that you have kids and it's strange to now have such traffic going through the neighborhood (by car or on foot)? Mention that you're worried, and ask for advice on how to handle it?

Be careful about confronting the neighbor, though ... your safety must come first.

Reply June 15, 2008 at 08:24 AM Lawyer Mama said...

Holy crap! If the police won't do anything, trying contacting your city council. Or whatever they call it in a county. (I can't remember!) When we lived in the City of Falls Church & had problems getting a sewer issue fixed, we called the City manager (who is an elected official, I believe) and it was taken care of in 24 hours.

Reply June 16, 2008 at 09:14 AM Jenni said...

We had a neighbor that my husband and I jokingly called the "neighborhood hooker" because she always seemed to have daytime visitors of the male persuasion while her husband was at work.

It was a joke to us....until she was arrested last year!

Needless to say, the street is much quieter now!

Not So Disposable

2010-08-22T07:39:00.000-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date December 24, 2007.

We all know that once you have kids messes are made all the time. Almost every 2.5 seconds it seems and there is more trash than you ever thought possible leaving your home. If you own a diaper genie or some other stink holder then you know that the trash you put out more than doubles once that cute bundle arrives. It is like the diapers are having diapers inside that contraption. Diapers that clog our landfills and linger for years to come.

There must be something we can do right? There must be a better way that does not involve those cloth diapers. Because really? We are not all cut out for the washing of the poo. This video, Not So Disposable, by Dana Hackley, gets to the nitty gritty of what diapers are doing to our world. She offers yet another way to possibly solve this diaper dilemma by lobbying our state legislature to find a way to recycle them. A company called Knowaste already does this with great results in the UK and even here in this country. When you consider the fact that diapers, including adult ones, are one of the only household items not to be recycled these days added in with the 500 years it takes for them to decompose it doesn't take a math genius to realize we have a big problem on our hands.

It is incredibly easy to just throw those diapers away. They are disposable after all. Who wants to deal with safety pins, expensive diaper services, and washing nappies late into the night when you are already a sleep deprived parent to begin with? Our grandmothers and many of our mothers did it. So why can't we? I was a cloth diapered baby for purely economical reasons as was my spouse. I oddly didn't even think twice about an alternative to the Pamper when my daughter was born despite my preoccupation with natural baby products, organic food and a whole slew of other green techniques I institued in our house.

It wasn't until Dana's video that I really began to squirm in my seat and realize the mess I was creating from well, my daughter's messes. However, even when presented with the facts I'm at a loss on how to really begin finding a new alternative to buying that ginormous box of gel inserted diapers every two weeks. I applaud Dana's efforts to seek an alternative to disposable diapers because we aren't all cut out for the cloth nappy technique. We really should be finding other options out there. I think just speaking up about it opens a whole new realm for discussion and thought. I welcome anyone's suggestions on how to get this started in the DC Metro area or if anyone has experiences using products like the g-diaper or vinyl pants. That one I just can't wrap my brain around.

Comments

Bonacci said...

In Toronto, recycling of diapers has been in full swing for several years now. The "green bin" program allows all organic wastes, bones, and sanitary products to be recycled. All the surrounding cities have started taking part now also. To enforce the recycling programs, the city now limits garbage pickup to once every two weeks, and there is a two bag limit per pickup.

At first it's something you're not particularly happy about, but when you start to realize the benefits and finally get into the routine, it's great. My finance and I are down to about a half bag of trash every two weeks... There are so many things that are recyclable in our city now that it's pretty difficult to generate a lot of trash.

Bonnaci

Reply December 24, 2007 at 06:48 AM ElleDee said...

It's really not that hard to adapt to using cloth diapers if you sign up for a diaper service. With our second child, I'm considering washing our own though, although I'm feeling a bit apprehensive about it. (I need to research if the diaper service's use of water is more efficient, for example; anyone know?). I've collected a lot of diaper covers and although you have to change wet diapers more frequently, it's not that bad. We did use a paper diaper at night though because our daughter was such a heavy nighttime wetter. This is a good site about using cloth diapers - http://www.diaperjungle.com/washing-cloth-diapers.html

Reply December 24, 2007 at 10:58 AM Vicky said...

Wow Leslie, Thanks so much. I had no idea about the paper diapers for nighttime either. I will definetly check this out!

Verizon Customer Service is No Friend of Mine

2010-08-18T07:08:00.000-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date February 15, 2008.

Scene: My home, afternoon, precious nap time/work minutes ticking away. I am on deadline. My Internet connection goes down and after fiddling with it all day I decide to call Verizon.

After spending a few minutes on hold I am finally put through to a person who doesn't sound like she is from halfway around the world. Is this even possible? That has never happened before! Yet, her voice does sound suspiciously not human. I've verified my name, number, address, H's name, my third cat's birthday and how old I was when I learned to ride a bike and I think, "Are we done yet?"

Customer Service Rep: Please state your telephone number again ma'am.

V: 875-3425.

CSR: Is that 759-3324?

V: No, (tight smile forms on my face) 875-3425.

CSR: 875-3427? Is that correct?

V: N00... 8 7 5 3 4 2 5

CSR: Let me make sure I have this correct. 875-3425.

V: YES!

CSR: OK ma'am, do you have an alternate number in case this line goes down?

After a repetition only slightly more painful she gets the second phone number correct. I have already silently asked the phone if she is on crack and pulled the phone away from me to glare at her from a far.

CSR: OK ma'am, what seems to be the problem? Your phone line?

V: Uh..no. It's my Internet connection. That is why I called the DSL hot-line. It says it is working but when I repair it the computer says it is my provider not the computer. All systems are go on the router and modem.

CSR: What color is the modem?

V: Seriously? It's beige.

CSR: Beige? (this color seems to have confounded her) Beige..., she mutters, as if she has no idea what color I am talking about.

V: Or tan? Ecru? Maybe a light grey? There is a slightly toasty look to the top now from having the router on top of it. (oops)

CSR: Are you the wife of H ma'am?

V: (What the.. weren't we just talking about my modem?) Yessss.....

CSR: What lights are blinking on the router ma'am?

V: All of them. The ethernet, the ready light and the power light.

CSR: The power light, the ready light, the Internet light and the USB?

V: USB? No. (Never mentioned this light and I repeat them for her twice)

At this point she starts asking about lights that I've never heard or seen on the router. We go through the same rigmarole that we did with the phone number. I'm on her to game. She just wants me off the phone. She wants me so frustrated that I hang up and never call Verizon support again. She has even begun to snicker at me when I repeat things back to her for the third time.

CSR: You are using a phone right ma'am?

V: WTH? Yes. I am using a phone. That's how people call each other these days. Those new fangled telly-phone dee-vices.... Ugh.

I am now crawling on my knees as she has instructed pulling on cords and wires. I am out of breath and very annoyed. She keeps getting the terms router and modem confused causing all sorts of calamity. As I get up off the floor I notice dog poop.

Dog poop.

When was the dog in here because this just happened. As I listen to CSR yammer on about wires and connections I silently curse my dog and begin to clean up the mess. At this point I have shut off everything, turned it on, shut if off, and turned it on again. I type in some ridiculous website address and am asked.

CSR: Do you see the map ma'am?

V: Yes! yes I do! (I'm starting to feel like I might in an episode of Lost) Do I touch a button? What does the map mean?

CSR: Close it down ma'am. You don't need to mess with the map. Now shut everything off again.

V: Are you messin' with me lady? What is the map for? I need to know!

CSR: Don't worry about the map. You'll see it again.....

She has established that my DSL connection and modem are fine. My computer is fine. The router is not her problem or her company's so she blames it on them and says all is fixed. Except I still don't have my WIFI and I don't work on the desktop. Forty minutes and 34 seconds of work/nap time are gone. Poof!

CSR: Ma'am, on a scale of one to ten would you recommend Verizon customer service to a friend or family member?

V: Just leave me alone... Haven't you done enough to this family today? Just tell me what the map means....

Comments

Jill Asher said...

Ok, now I am scared... I JUST switched over my cell phone service from Sprint to Verizon. We had to do this because my husband was not getting SPRINT coverage in his new office, and absolutely needed to be able to use his cell phone at work.

I have to say, switching over was somewhat painless - though now I am scared that if something goes wrong, I will have to deal with something similar.... Ugh.

Reply February 17, 2008 at 09:50 AM Amy@UWM said...

Hilarious...um...I mean...outrageous! Totally wrong!!! Bad Verizon.

Had to laugh, though, because it's usually when I'm screwing around with my router that I find the dog poop in my house.

Reply February 17, 2008 at 04:30 PM Nita said...

Lets not even get me started on my Verizon FIOS customer service experiences! Needless to say, I had local media interested after receiving my $1200 bill last year. Also, I have been trying for 3 months to return 2 cable boxes to no avail....

I got Vonage for my home phone. I only keep the internet service because my engineer husband would kill me if he lost his speed.

Reply February 18, 2008 at 10:08 PM Charissa said...

I had problems when I first signed up for the big V. I kept calling they would tell me the same thing, shut off computer, check connection, etc.. Well long story short after two weeks of trying to get things up and going they decide that there was a problem on their end, and then abmb I had a connection. I was feed up with them at this point and was threating to cancel, they gave me 3 months free to stay on. I agreed and haven't had any problems since. Nock on Wood..

Reply March 05, 2008 at 06:40 PM Bianka said...

We have Verizon internet service.. My husband has spent a grand total of about 6 hours on hold waiting for a "tech guy".. once a 2 hour stretch in one sitting. Still haven't gotten results.

Yesterday I saw a commercial for PREMIUM VERIZON CUSTOMER SERVICE for $14.99 a month.. yes, they are asking you to PAY FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE. I am fed up with them and will soon be switching to another provider.

Where's Mummy?

2010-08-16T13:45:00.000-04:00

This week I'm reviewing Wiglington & Wenks, the amazing virtual world that takes kids all over the world. It's educational, fun and historical. While a bit young for TD she really became enchanted with the characters and how she could travel all over the globe. Enter to win a month's subscription for your child today!

Oliver's Labels is here just in time for back to school.

The name isn't great but it's self-explanatory too- Urine Off Stain Remover.

At TheFind I'm talking about TOM's cute wedge shoes. I bought myself a pair for my post-swollen feet.

And has anyone heard of this diet craze? I could have made some bank!

The Deep End

2010-08-13T11:27:00.000-04:00

We had incredible storms here yesterday and it seems to have broken this oppressive heat wave the DC Metro area has been baking in. My emotions in the past few weeks have been brewing up like this storm and yesterday, of all days, was the day it all just came thundering in, full of tornadoes, crying storms and tales of hysteria.

For the last few weeks I've been consistently telling each OB or midwife and nurse that I see that while I might seem healthy in the vitals department I was clearly not doing well emotionally. It was beginning to scare me too. I have had post-partum depression twice now and I didn't like that I was feeling that way already and I hadn't even birthed this kid yet. I felt like a walking "Danger Zone!" sign complete with blinking lights. Yet, no one was listening.

On Monday after a restful visit to the Big Apple. Yes, really, it was restful. I had my 38 week check-up. A.K.A. the day that I was supposed to get my induction date. The doctor who saw me said, "I don't check. We're not going that route." I think white flames began to shoot from my head. Little neurons backfired as I absorbed this information. I wasn't even going to be told if I was making progress? I just walked all over New York for goodness sakes hoping that something would happen! I got a bit teary and pissy and went home. Screw them. I'm going to walk this kid out of me. Heat wave be damned! So I tried. I walked until I was exhausted, pushing both girls in the double stroller. I walked all over the place for days. I cleaned and tackled major projects. When I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night (every night) I paced the house. Contractions were often but nothing was happening. Patience was running thin and I was feeling so overtired that the idea of anyone even talking to me or me having to talk to them sent me over the edge. That nasty dark feeling was creeping in. By Thursday morning when my appointment with the specialist who checks my placenta dawned I was a sobbing mess. I cried during the whole appointment those ugly, swollen-faced tears. I had to stick myself in a bathroom stall afterwards to try and get some control. Despite the nurse and Sonogram tech telling the doctor I was clearly not doing well, I was patted on the head and told to get some sleep and stay out of the heat.

Um... yeah. SLEEP WOULD BE FANTASTIC IF IT WOULD HAPPEN!!! So would eating if it didn't make me gag or feel like puking afterwards. I haven't gained weight in almost a month. That never happened with the other two pregnancies. Why does no one hear me when I tell them that?

From the bathroom stall I texted a friend feeling mortified I had lost all control. I sobbed to her in my car about how bad of a mother I feel I have become and here I am supposed to be welcoming another child into the world. I had officially cracked. When I got home later that morning I immediately called my midwife's office. The receptionist could hear my pain and hysteria. She held me on the line and asked if she could just sit there on the phone with me for a while even after she booked my appointment. That just made me cry harder. Obviously my hormones are so amped up right now and combined with all the sleeplessness I've gone a bit off the deep end. Thankfully, my friend had the girls and told me she would keep them until I had my midwife appointment later that afternoon.

It was a relief to arrive at that appointment and see a friendly, familiar nurse who I have always loved. Seeing a new midwife who had no knowledge of my past pregnancies helped too. I cried again, feeling ridiculous. When we began to go down the road of "Let's get you some sleep aids, have a high protein breakfast and make sure you are resting..." All feeling left my voice. I said in a flattened tone, "No. No. No, I will not go on anti-depressants that won't start working until a few weeks from now. I will not take an anti-anxiety medication for when I feel anxious because it won't help. I need to know if I am making progress. I need to be checked. I need to know that this baby is coming and I am not left hanging out there. I need my induction date and for someone to hear me and that is all. IT.IS.IN. MY. CHART."

High protein breakfast? YOU WANT ME TO DRINK A SMOOTHIE? WTF? I'm hypo-glycemic that's my life, lady. I'm high protein all the time. "Cash in my chips? Ask my spouse to stop working so he can deal with the kids?!" WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!

So she checked me. I'm almost there. Today, the hospital called. Induction is scheduled for next week. That fading placenta only has a few more days to keep chugging along. Last night I took an ambien to help me sleep and it worked. I feel a bit more sane today but I think I need a few days of silence and rest before this all amps up again next week. And possibly a high protein breakfast. Heh.

Blogher'10 - Good Times, Indeed

2010-08-11T16:56:00.000-04:00

So I had like this whole post about how awesome Blogher '10 was and then Blogger decided to act like total a douche on me and I don't have it in me to rewrite it. Here are some bullet points and let me just say, it was totally worth the trip!

-My roomie was awesome and summed up Blogher best in this post.

-I met women who have inspired me throughout this blogging and motherhood journey and I stand amazed. Katherine, I'm talking to you. Thanks for all the kind words, even when you made me cry at one point. They were happy tears. I'm honored to know you and work with you thus far. Susan telling me I am an inspiration as I hauled ass around the conference was jaw-dropping to say the least.

-Spending the day on Ellis Island was fantastic! Liberty Mutual could not have treated us better. Check out their Responsibility Project. If you are ever in the NYC, look up this tour guide and you won't regret it.

-Sparklecorn. I love you. For the second year in a row that party was one of my favorite parts of Blogher. Where else can a group of grown ass women still dance their butts off in glittery attire? It was like a high school dance without the nonsense. Loved it. Can't wait to do it again sans baby bump next year. All the better to shake my groove thang. Want to know what the heck Sparklecorn is (besides a totally made up name about sparkles and unicorns and awesomeness?) then watch this video. Or get with the extended cut. "Oh, indeed." by Omar Little is quite right.

-Blogher you have not jumped the shark. This year it was all about what you made of it. I went into the conference looking for nothing but good times with friends, making new ones and learning more about this world I work in. I did that and more. To all those who constantly complimented me and made me feel fantastic despite being 38 weeks pregnant. YOU ROCK!

Blogher'11 in San Diego here we come!

We Need an Eviction Notice

2010-08-09T09:17:00.000-04:00

I am 38 weeks and counting with the Fifth Element and you know what? I'm sick of counting. I need an eviction notice on this kid. I have already cried about four times this morning from pain or some sort of suffering. H is sick of it. I'm sick of it. I'm sure the girls are sick of it. This baby needs to get a move on. I might start taking nurses and midwives hostage at my appointment today if I find out I haven't dilated anymore. "Induce me or you are all getting Strep B tested!"

We're all very ready for this baby to arrive. I arrived home from Blogher (I'll be getting to that obligatory post-Blogher update shortly.) yesterday and upon entering the DC Metro area I began to have contractions. Maybe it was the jostling train ride, the luggage I unloaded from the car (I didn't feel like waiting for H to come home to do it.) or the fighting the girls were incessantly doing but for a few hours it really felt like "go time". I started packing my bag and writing down the times. Then, nothing.

Today I'm an emotional mess. As H said in a text to me recently, "Go dilation!"

Pregnancy: They Name is Insecurity

2010-08-06T12:56:00.005-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date July 9, 2008.

Typically, I am fairly secure in my marriage and overall relationship with my spouse. He does a wonderful job of taking care of me, telling me how he feels, attending to my needs and showing affection. I'm the one that often lacks in that department. I never doubt how he feels about me or his family. But I had to face facts the other day when I realized that the ugly green monster of jealousy and its sister insecurity had reared their ugly heads.

Why you might ask? It's simple and something I shamefacedly admit. When I become pregnant I become insecure. All those changes with my body, the break-outs, weird bodily functions, mood swings and right, how can I forget, not only do I gag and puke frequently I also tend to pee myself if I sneeze too hard lately. Last count had me wetting myself no less than three times in the last five months. Yeah, that's wicked hot. What guy wouldn't lust after that? Then we come to the second matter. The impending bachelor party my husband is throwing this weekend.

This bachelor party is for his younger brother and despite the fact that my husband has been to a lot of these events in the ten years we've been together for some reason as soon as I am knocked up all my normal feelings of ambivalence go out the window. I become jealous. Jealous of his freedom and ability to stay up past 10 p.m., to drink and not be grossed out by every smell and possibly shake his groove thing without losing balance like I would.

I loathe this about myself but I feel powerless to stop it. I reason with myself, I share my feelings with my him trying to make light of it when deep down all I can think about is the tanned breasts that will be in his face this weekend that look nothing like my post-baby ones. Surely my pregnancy chub rub is not something that is often featured on the pole in most strip joints. While my husband knows that at this time I am particularly sensitive I don't think he knows the extent. That I'm too tired half the time to care what I look like and to go through all the beauty regimes I normally do. It currently takes me a week to give myself a manicure and only if I have to have one. That the idea of actually blow drying and styling my hair these days is akin to putting on pantyhose in 120 degree heat and wearing stilettos all day while standing outside. My usual product junkie self takes a back seat as a I use all my energy to simply bake a baby. My mind reels with images of all the attractive women he comes across and the confidence they exude and I lack right now. Because deep down that is the key, confidence is what makes a woman terrifically attractive and at this point in my life I lack it almost every capacity.

Comments

Sheryl from Natural Pregnancy said...

Is it any consolation that your baby will think you are totally hot? :)

Reply July 09, 2008 at 11:54 AM Barbara Waller said...

I am so relived to her that I am not alone in having similar feelings. Thank You

A Bit of a Rant on the Secret Lives of a Soccer Mom

2010-08-06T06:54:00.001-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date March 6, 2008. Does anyone even remember this show from TLC?

Maybe I am looking into it too deep. Maybe I want more information and I should just relax because after all it is only television and it is a reality show. However, I recently watched TLC's newest venture, The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom (SLSM), and found that the show left me with a bunch questions. Questions that were left unanswered.

The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom is the latest in reality shows. It takes one stay at home mom and gives her a week to secretly see what her life would have been like if she had chosen to go back to work instead of staying home with the kids full time. OK, first off? You can't go back. There is no ramping off the career path and magically going back on and knowing where your career would have gone. That does not jive with me. No one knows where their career would have gone or what might have been. That is the real reality of life.

The first episode took a woman who had been home ten years. That is a long time out of the loop. Her pre-baby job was as a recent graduate from fashion school. She also worked for Chanel. In Beverly Hills. My guess is that it was the store not the design house. Fashion is one tough business! There are too many 'what if's' here. How does TLC know where her career would be? I know what you are saying, "Relax. It's a reality show based on a dream. Just go with it." Fine. I did. I watched the episode play out and found myself cheering this mother and family on largely because they cheered each other on continuously. Her family finds out her "secret" at the end of the show and the family must make a decision and fast. Should Mom go back to work or should she continue to stay at home with the kids? In this episode Mom chooses work. It was all very touching, there were tears shed. The kids were proud of their mother and the Dad couldn't have been happier to see his wife finally complete as he put it. In that respect I thought, "Well done TLC! That is a great example of family."

Then the ever practical side of me took over with more questions. The woman has to start work immediately. That is where I'm left hanging. What about child care? Isn't there a waiting list at most day-cares that are months long? That is how it was for me anyway. What about salary and benefits? None of that is discussed. In fact, the woman actually says, "I don't even know what full time hours are..." Is there travel? Nothing is mentioned. Just, "TA DA! Television Magic!" I suppose I should just have fun with it but it annoyed me in the sense that they never even dealt with these very real issues. Issues that could make or break a family. What if her salary is too low and child care is not an affordable option? There are three kids of varying ages which means that after-school options must be considered as well as full time help. Does TLC help with that? The woman doesn't even know what her actual position at this new job would be.

I hate to be a Debbie Downer and rain all over TLC's and SLSM's parade but this just trivialized parenting and family life to me. It is also extreme. While part-time work is certainly a challenge and often does not offer the benefits and pay to make it worth while for many Moms (who can afford the child care on a part-time salary?!) it is never mentioned. The premise of the show is very Cinderella-like and once again pits stay at home mothers against working mothers. When the first mother finds out that the design house has other working mothers employed there she is in awe. It is as if the idea never crossed her mind until TLC came knocking at her door.

There is also the lying factor. The women must lie to their family for a whole week! Dad then comes to the realization (who are these people?!) of what his wife's every day life is really like. Maybe, my family is just wildly different, but my husband knows what to do with our child when I'm gone. He does not need a list and knows the reality that the daily in's and out's of staying at home and working from home is actually like. Why does this whole thing need to be a secret anyway? Would the family object if they knew Mom was working away from the home suddenly?

Lastly, what really got me about this show is the sheer fact that no working mother can be 100% focused on her job like the women are in that first week back at work. The reality of this show is completely unfounded. That first week back at work would be a logistical nightmare for most families. The family would be trying to find its way through a new schedule and dealing with a whole new reality now that Mom is back to work. Mom would most likely be exhausted and stressed out dealing with the commute, new schedule, on the job pressures and such. Both parents would have to adjust to their new roles as co-caretakers of the family too. Or would Mom just be expected to pick up where she left off and do all the cleaning, laundry, cooking and shopping too effectively giving her two jobs now instead of just the one? TLC does not show this part of the story and to me that would be one of the most engrossing and compelling parts of a show like this. A show based on that I would watch.

Comments

Becky said...

Yeah, I was struck by the glossing over of details ... like child care, etc. And all the tears aside, how much WORK was the guy willing to do at home to facilitate his newly full-time-working wife? Or could they just afford to hire someone to clean the house and pick up the kids from school? Those kinds of things ... but, yeah, it's television, not reality.

Reply March 08, 2008 at 08:09 AM Amy@UWM said...

I don't know. I liked the show. It was definitely contrived (you just gotta suspend belief -- they have to make things dramatic for TV), but I didn't see it as unrealistic as you did. The mom looked pretty stressed out to me during those days on the job. My husband would DEFINITELY need thorough instructions even though he's been left with our kids a million times. And although it left me wondering what she was going to do about childcare too, I figured they'd work it out somehow. Maybe the producers offered temporary care until they could find a permanent solution.

I thought the show did one thing well -- highlight what a horribly difficult decision it is to either defer your dreams for the sake of your family or to actually pursue your dreams while your heart is torn about leaving your family. We're a generation of women that were told we could have it all, worked hard to at least get a head start on our dreams before we had kids and then found that mixing the two just isn't what we thought it would be. Somehow that doesn't seem fair. Neither decision is easy and I for one am glad this dilemma for us moms is getting some more national recognition.

Reply March 08, 2008 at 09:40 AM Dawn said...

Who would want to know? You can't go back so what difference does it make. And you can't have it all. No matter what THEY say. There are choices to be made, you have to try to make the best ones for your family.

Reply March 08, 2008 at 05:06 PM selfmademom said...

I hear ya on this one. I actually got to speak to and interview Tracey Gold, the host of the show for my blog so I felt like I got a different perspective. I think you make some great points. Maybe they should have carried out each mom's story over like a 3-episode time period. That may allow for more insight into the transition, etc. I'm actually trying to get the producers to talk to us bloggers about our rants about the show, because I think there could be some things to improve it. We'll see if that happens.

Reply March 10, 2008 at 04:44 AM J. Fergie said...

i love this post. i haven't seen the show yet, but i've been wanting to. i agree with what selfmademom said and think that maybe they need to follow the mom for longer than the course of one episode. also - you should send in your comments to TLC! i'm sure they want to hear from their viewers about the show.

Has Blogher10 Jumped the Shark?

2010-08-02T09:58:00.000-04:00

A good portion of the blogosphere is all aTwitter (literally) about the upcoming Blogher 10 (#blogher10)Conference happening in New York City this week. I'll be there with swollen cankles and full-on maternity couture. Is H&M and Old Navy maternity considered couture? No high heels for me at this point. If you are taking bets on me giving birth (#BirthHer10) while there you can just put your money away now. My OB is convinced I'll be right on time for a late August delivery. I'm not buying the Hilton a new mattress.

I'm excited about Blogher like I am every year. The friends, networking, seminars, parties and chance to dress up a bit and have some fun in a way only we bloggers can, but I'm beginning to wonder about it all. It's just so hyped now. It's so huge it should be called BigHer. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Has Blogher as a conference 'jumped the shark'? It is truly great that the blogosphere has expanded this much in a few short years. We can all come together with our different ideas and thoughts and discuss them in one space. I love that about Blogher. I love that sponsors want to be included too but I hate the hype that now surrounds everything to do with this event. From what will you wear and pack to what parties you attend it is beyond the basic concept now and I fear it is all about the sponsors to so many. Yes, we all like swag. I get many reviews from that stuff but I sort of hate how a coupon for a free can of soda creates mass hysteria. It's chemicals in a can people not gold.

Maybe it won't be like that this year. Maybe we all learned from last years debacle of frenzied, elbowing of babies and adults alike to realize that a free jar of teensy tiny playdoh isn't worth it. Free vibrators aren't even worth that and I seem to come home with a new one each year. Here's to hoping we can look beyond all that and get back to the real reason we are there. Drinking with other bloggers. Heh. No, really it's all about learning about our craft as bloggers and writers. It's about running whatever business we have created and not losing our freakin' minds.

Where's Mummy?

2010-07-30T10:51:00.000-04:00

Besides being kicked out of bed at least twice last night and trying to sleep on the couch? I'm nesting. I can't walk by the nursery without going in and organizing or hanging something up. The cleaning of the baby gear comes next.

At MPR this week we're talking about Pop on Pals Amusement Park playset, Clementine Art Natural Paint for kids, Goody Hair Products Colour Collection, BornFree pacifiers (BPA free) and the iGo Charge Anywhere charger.

Juno Baby has me talking smack about baby showers, 'me' time, crepes and cultural sensitivity and how we adults are models for staying active and healthy for our children.

At Honest Baby I talk about miscommunication and being told to "Fuck off!" while at the mall. Good times.

Here's to staying cool and a good babymoon for H and I this weekend. Thanks to Jen who is taking on The Comedian and TD! You rock!

Overheards: Corn Hole

2010-07-29T07:38:00.000-04:00

Scene: We are all gathered around the table eating dinner. From our table we can view much of our neighborhood street.

H: Looks like our neighbors are playing Corn Hole again.

TD: DADDY! Don't say that word. That word is a bad word! Corn Hole is baaad!!!!

I almost spew my food and snort with laughter as she continues to mutter under her breath about how Daddy shouldn't use such bad language.

Money Talks

2010-07-27T06:32:00.002-04:00

Last I checked my Dad was the one holding this ten dollar bill. He didn't even know what a MILF was and I had to explain it. Awkward.

More parenting videos on JuiceBoxJungle

Love the Little Bundle, Hate the Pre-Baby Shin-dig

2010-07-26T07:21:00.001-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date January 14, 2008. Thank goodness times are changing and some baby showers are no longer this way. In fact, The Fifth Element's was a brunch with vodka and champagne. Fabulous.

I attended a baby shower this weekend in one of those spacious clubhouses that can only be found in a brand spankin' new community. My friend is about to have her first baby. So I, like many of her other friends, turned out to celebrate this new bundle of joy and welcome her to motherhood.

In theory this is a great idea. Beyond theory it is fabulous for only one person. OK, maybe two. The mother and the baby. The mom gets pampered and showered with attention and she gets the items she needs for little junior's arrival. There's cake too which I believe no event, even a trip to the grocery store, should be without. I love celebrating my friends journey through pregnancy, her impending birth and child's arrival. However, I just can't get beyond the fact that I just loathe baby showers. I dread them with the hatred of a thousand pastel colored burp cloths and a million ill-fitting breast pumps.

My husband seems to think that all women must love going to these events. He sees it like a vacation day for me. We women go without the kids if we have them and it is an afternoon spent with our friends. Pfftt... I say. Sure. Color me a pessimist but I find these events excruciating. Does he really think I enjoy watching someone open a bazillion items from Target, Babies R Us and Pottery Barn Kids for two hours? Items that have already been destroyed and are no longer worth fawning over. Items that you are sick to death of seeing in your own home? Does he even realize how nauseating it is to look at those diapers with Mr. Good-bar in them? Or is that a melted Twix bar? Tasty. Does he realize I do not enjoy eating chicken with rice bits just to score some body lotion or mini-soap. No, he thinks I love it. He thinks all women must love the chance to throw unwanted advice at a new mom. That we live to talk baby talk and discuss the birthin' of the babies. For me that could not be more wrong. His belief gets my baby shower dread ball rolling too.

Then the introvert in me comes out full-force during the event as well. I yearn for darkened corners to eat my cake and punch in peace. My nerves are forever jangling as I make baby small talk and give the sort of advice that warrants putting me in that dark corner anyway. Advice like, "Labor? Piece of cake! I feel smug saying this but Ha! Twelve pushes. Don't worry." I mean this to ease the nerves of the new mom but I end up riling up the rest of the mothers who gather around. Either that or I feel like I sound like I'm drunk and I end up back in the corner nibbling cheese or staring too long at the baby cake. I try to do my part, to be a good friend at these events but I always end up feeling like I come up short. That the fact that I would rather be swillin' a drink laced with vodka vs. daintily eating a tea sandwich is painfully obvious. It probably is. I have never been one to hide my emotions well.

I think what it boils down to is that every shower seems much like the other. The format remains consistent and stuffy. The colors and themes do not change. The elderly aunts and grandmothers are the only ones who truly enjoy these events. It gets harder and harder to ooh and aah over a crocheted whatever with each passing function. While this past weekends baby shower was incredibly easy and not mind-numbingly boring it did make me pause and think. Then vow. I vowed to myself that if I ever throw a baby shower myself it will not be some staid affair. There will be no storks, no pinks and blues. No punch with floating bits of sherbet will come near it. I simply cannot do it. I'll do my best to keep the mother in mind but gosh darn it,as God as my witness, there will be champagne (sparkling cider too of course), music, possibly some Wii or Karoke and NO GAMES. Unless of course those games involve cake.

I can easily say this will never happen. No one will ever ask me to throw them a baby shower simply because they know my hatred of them. That and I think they fear that I might just be sick enough to play 'pin the bootie on the belly' of the new mother just for laughs.

Comments

baby girl said...

I love baby shower, I've been only in two, but still if it a close friend of my it especially fun.

Reply January 14, 2008 at 11:51 AM Linda said...

I always think of that Sex and the City episode where Miranda wants chicken wings at her shower!! I've only been to a few babyshowers, even my own were odd since we were overseas. But my first one was "virtual." We lived in the Middle East. My friends sent all the gifts and we connected on IM and had a virtual baby shower with friends/family while I opened presents in my PJs. It rocked!!!

Reply January 14, 2008 at 01:24 PM merseydotes said...

I hate those hokey games and decorations. At my baby shower, I insisted on only games that could be plaid with a pencil and paper (ie, things you could write down) - no diapers, Baby Ruths, baby food, dolls, etc. It was great. I hosted a shower for a friend, and it was all about good food, white wine, chatting and presents. And great cake.

Reply January 14, 2008 at 01:56 PM Bittermom said...

I would love to attend a baby shower thrown by you.

I do also agree that cake should be served with everything. But only good cake. Please don't even think about going to Walmart for a cake.

Reply January 14, 2008 at 03:22 PM GirlFren said...

Ya know, I hate baby showers, too. I've thrown two and it caused me so much anguish I didn't sleep for days. Just knowing that I was hosting an event that would essentially be endured begrudgingly by everyone in attendance just sent me over the top. Too much to bear. And then, when I was preggers with my son, I had to sit through THREE different baby showers which just made me feel so very very guilty. Guilty for the people who had to come, guilty for all the stuff I was getting, guilty for wishing I could avoid all of it altogether. My wisdom? Showerees and Showerers must abide by these rules: 1) If you are the recipient of a shower, you must remember to be super, super thankful to everybody who comes, everybody who sends you some good wishes, and to the nice people who threw you the shower. Thank them multiple times. 2) If you attend or throw a shower, you must really try to send out good vibes to the guest of honor because that person is special and deserves some happies for their special event, and shouldn't have to feel bad about it. 3. No games.

Reply January 14, 2008 at 04:59 PM Caitlin said...

The worst baby showers I've been to are the ones that got rescheduled because someone thought it would be cute to schedule the original within two weeks of the due date. Usually everyone brings the gifts by the house, so by the time the rescheduled shower rolls around, you feel like you have to buy another gift, because you don't want to look cheap.

Reply January 14, 2008 at 10:12 PM Michele said...

Count me in with the old ladies because I love baby showers. With two caveats -

1 - I dont want it to be one of three or four showers for the new mom. I hate when you spend time, thought and good money on a goft just to have her say "Oh I got this at my work shower and my book club shower too!"

and

2 - I want good food. Champagne or wine is a bonus. If you are going to suck up most of my Saturday or Sunday, at least feed me well.

Reply January 16, 2008 at 01:26 PM LawyerMama said...

I banned games from my baby shower. It was co-ed and at 5pm. Everyone left work early for a little cocktail/happy hour shower with food and booze. It was great. I also told everyone to feel free to ignore me and talk while I opened gifts. If I could have gotten away with not opening them there, I would have! If it weren't for the cake and the large pack 'n play assembled in the room, you wouldn't have known it was a baby shower!

Not at My Best

2010-07-22T09:07:00.000-04:00

It was the best of times. It was the warts of times. Warts, worst, whatever. I feel like an angry, old hag covered in warts right about now anyway. Vacation bliss is a distant memory. It's been a week of Braxton Hicks, little sleep, too much baby prep and testing of the parents.

H can't sleep with me because I'm a "loud breather" right now and I toss and turn so much these days while simultaneously moaning that I keep him up half the night. After he leaves our precious munchkins feel the need to wake me up with requests such as, "My skin is dry. I need lotion. Lotion all over my entire body." It's 1 a.m. I momentarily thought of shoving the lotion into the room via basket and telling TD, "It's puts the lotion on the skin..."

See? I'm just not myself. I just want to be done with the organizing of baby crap (I could do it in a day if I had the energy and army) and have this kid already. I'm done. I'm so over this pregnancy I need a new word for over.

And We're Back!

2010-07-20T06:42:00.000-04:00

Vacation and all its bliss is over. A good time was had by all. We can't wait to go back and do it all again next year.

Bet you never thought you would see that here. Alright, move along. Don't tap the glass, she doesn't like it.

Saturday Afternoon Fever

2010-07-19T07:03:00.001-04:00

Cross-posted and archived DC Metro Moms post. Original date February 17, 2008. Re-reading this makes me think, "BLD! I want to go to there! Again!"

I have a confession to make. I hate kids stuff. Go ahead and tsk tsk me if you want to, that's fine, I'm used to it. If you admit to not loving spending hours putting together the same puzzle or picking up leaves in the freezing cold then I applaud you. I find nothing fun about going to fairs, going on rides, or petting zoos either. Spending the afternoon, day, or a vacation with a cartoon character is not my cup of tea. I can play puzzles, coloring and tea party just so long with my daughter before I have had my fill and I want to go read Newsweek aloud to her instead.

And truthfully? I feel just awful about it. I feel like less of a parent. I want to like doing it. I really do. I feel that it makes me a not so fun or great Mom to her just because I find these things incredibly boring. Sometimes I tell myself that maybe I am just not a little kid person and that when she is older and can converse on a higher level I will be OK. Who am I kidding though, by then she probably won't want to have anything to do with me and it will be too late.

I become paralyzed by the fact that perhaps her childhood memories will not be those of fun afternoons playing dress-up with Mommy, but of Mommy trying in vain to read her books about Richard Nixon. I continuously try and find things to do with her pint-sized self that keep my attention for more than two minutes as well. Until recently I was low on ideas. Then, I lucked out. I went to review a new gig in town and found just the thing. Baby Loves Disco.

For an entire afternoon my daughter and I spun, twirled, shook what our mommas gave us and had a blast. This went on for three hours. I didn't even notice the time. During this event I smiled more than I had in a week combined and I think my daughter did too. We played with colored scarves and ate snacks while bopping to the beat. We shook egg shakers and chased bubbles and ran ourselves ragged all over the club that Baby Loves Disco rents out for an afternoon. Finally, I felt I had found something that spoke to both of us. Dancing. Once we started dancing all silliness ensued.

I was surprised and quite pleased to stumble upon this revelation. I love to dance and I often try to dance with my daughter at home but somehow it never lasts or is as much fun. Maybe it was being out of the house and in a new environment. Maybe it was the beer I drank from the bar. Maybe it was simply the fact that surrounded by other parents just letting loose I finally surrendered to the silly in a way I often don't make time for at home. Having no other alternative but to just boogie was apparently what we as a family needed. I found myself having more fun with my husband too.

For me, this was a welcome change from the usual suburban Saturdays we tend to spend as a family. I found myself having a blast with both my spouse and my daughter. I bonded with my daughter in a way that does not happen as often as it should. I got to show a side of myself that is normally not so frequent since I became a parent and it was freeing. I realized that afternoon that I need to surrender more than just the time but also my heart and my mind more often than I actually do. It was a wake up call of sorts but one that was needed. Since that Saturday afternoon my daughter and I have spontaneous 'rock-outs' that no one else participates in. It seems she understands now what dancing is all about and it is a fun release that we both need and share.

Comments

Jill Asher said...

I missed BLD when they were out here in Northern California - but heard it was a blast!

Reply February 17, 2008 at 08:36 AM Jessica said...

Glad to hear the event is fun for parents and kids alike! The next one in DC is on April 5th: http://www.rockandhoteldc.com. Thank you for reviewing so the rest of know to definitely go!

Reply February 17, 2008 at 07:25 PM Jean said...

This sounds like a lot of fun. Almost every night after dinner we go to the living room and dance. Although it tends to turn into a mosh pit with my three guys. It's a great release.

And trust me, you're not the only mom who doesn't want to put the alphabet puzzle together for the 63rd time. It doesn't make you a bad mom; it makes you human. (And, frankly, an adult.)

Sex and the City Fan- In it for the Froth

2010-07-16T08:09:00.001-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date May 31, 2008. This was based on the first film. The second sadly was all froth and no content, which I found deeply disappointing.

Sex and the City makes its long awaited debut this weekend and the media attention this movie has gotten makes it seem like the second coming. The critics, many of the manly persuasion, have given it the old, "meh, it's OK but it's not deep" review. As an avid fan, I refuse to listen to all the buzz and the boo's.

From the very beginning when the show was on only in the wee HBO hours I was hooked. I was single, young and out there. I found myself as a cross between cynical and realistic Miranda and the ballsy Samantha. Each Sunday night show was not just clothing crack but like a drink for my starving demographic of viewers. No one got us so right and we tuned in and turned loyal fast. While the show slowly delved into the glitz and glamor of the city and fashion world (The first season's clothes? They were more your average woman's wear.) it immediately tackled the questions that we gals faced on a daily basis. How do we juggle burgeoning careers, friendships and relationships? What is it we really want from all three and can we have it all? If we can, what defines having it all? Is it different for each of us? By the time the show wrapped in 2004, the answer was clearly yes, as each character seemed satisfied with their life's choices.

Enter the Sex and the City movie, which I will only be watching for the first time tonight. Amidst all the critics critiquing I am left with the feeling that none of it has been by a true fan. This film, much like the show was to NYC, is a tribute to us. It did not need to be done, but it has been and it is a reward to the fans who loved the show, its characters and what it gave us- fashion-forward froth, vulnerability, eye candy and a look into the hearts of four characters who represented a whole myriad of us real women. To break it down as anything else is not to understand the show and all it meant and still means to so many of its fans.

Will we be disappointed? Maybe. Will it really be all that we wanted and more? Perhaps. I prefer to look at the film as a chance to catch up with old friends, window shop for the unattainable, feel a bit carefree for two hours and not break it down into how deep the film gets into issues and such. This purist fan prefers to take part in the tulle-like froth that was the shows essence and just enjoy the ride.

Comments

jodifur said...

I saw it last night as well and loved, loved, loved it!

Reply May 31, 2008 at 05:38 PM Nicole said...

I agree :)

I'm going to see it soon!!!!!!!!!

Reply June 01, 2008 at 04:13 PM Jill said...

I saw it last night and smiled, giggled and LOOOOOVED the entire movie. And I was not a huge SITC fan.

jill

My Tax Dollars at Work

2010-07-12T06:30:00.001-04:00

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date November 6, 2007.

Coming home from a work trip this past weekend I noticed a business card from the County Sheriff's department by my front door. Grrr... I knew exactly what it was for but I asked my husband anyway. "Hon? Why is there a card from the Sheriffs department by the front door? Did they come by about the new signs?" He replied that, yes they did, and it was then that my blood began to boil.

See my husband and I run a business. We regularly put up signs to advertise this business throughout our county. It is all A-OK to do so in most areas but there are some that are verboten. Sometimes our sign guys put them up in a no-ad zone and we get a fine. A $100 a sign fine. Wait. That isn't what makes my blood boil. Just wait.

We get these fines a few times a year and we promptly pay them. It's not a big deal and it happens to all of us in the business at some time or other. Notice that I said we pay promptly. As in as soon as we get the insipid notice. But you know what? The County Sheriff's department still takes the time to make a personal house call. Full of swagger and bravado the officers cruise up to the house and make us show ID in our own home and the fine letter. They ask if we intend on paying said fine. Usually the fine has already been paid but apparently they just zipped on over here too quickly to figure that part out. We tell them 'yes, it's been paid' and they leave. They don't actually collect the money. It's just a "friendly" house call.

This is when my blood boils. They come over here and check on us like we are some kind of criminals without consulting their records first. The police take the time out of their busy crime-fighting days to inquire about sign fines?! Yet on record they are one of the all out worst at showing up for domestic violence matters. Just ask my neighbor. In one instance a woman had been stabbed and left for dead (she did in fact die) for three whole days before they showed up on the scene. Yet they had been notified of the disturbance days before. My husband has to hold me and my tongue back when they show up for the sign fines. I want to physically launch myself out the door and verbally give those officers a tongue lashing for this type of bureaucratic BS. The effort and cost to ensure that we pay a sign fee is so much more important than saving someone's life is exactly what this says to me. It just astounds me that this is what is important to them.

I'm not saying that the police are not doing their jobs. I'm willing to wager that the officer who has to drive to my house feels a bit chafed that this is the type of police work he is assigned to do. Yet when this is the type of police work my county officers are regularly doing and our county is known throughout the state of Virginia to have one of the worst response and punishment records on the issue of domestic violence it just makes me wonder. Are we doing all that we can? No. Are the police working in the way they need to be? I'm not so sure. I'm going to say no though. What I do know is that one of these days I will blow right past my husband when the Sheriff shows up and I will ask him a few pertinent questions or five and see what kind of response I get then. Until then all I can do is post a sign or two and hope someone else hears me. That lack of laws and the the twisted way the legal system and the police forces work often times takes too long, has little action, or simply doesn't protect the DV victim enough. It has got to end. We can't keep losing lives and having so little repercussions for the violence we are enacting against others.

Comments-

Dawn said...

Oh that would make me mad, too!! You should get a big 'ole sign and hang it on the door at police headquarters, lol.

Overheards- When I'm Older

2010-07-09T06:44:00.000-04:00

All this week I have heard nothing but, "When I'm older...", "When I'm twelve..." and "When I'm a Mommy..."

Scene: My bathroom. Both girls are crowded into it twirling around in princess dresses and throwing make-up, bottles of lotion and hairbrushes around the room with wild abandon. It's a fourth floor loft and I'm beginning to heat up and lose my patience as I try for once this week to actually do more with my hair than put it into a pony tail.

TD: Mommy, when I grow up I am going to have different rules.

V: Really?

TD: Yes, I am going to have very different rules than you and Daddy.

V: Mmhm... like what?

TD: In my house we will chew with our mouths open and no one will find it "disgusting" or bad manners. We'll chew with our mouths open and we'll like it!

V: Really? Well, we'll see.

TD: In my house we'll have purple and pink doors on all the rooms and the bath tub will be purple and pink too. In my house I will pray to God that I will have lots of babies and also grown up kids too. In my house....

V: I find this fascinating and I'll tell you this one thing- when you grow up TD, I bet your rules will be very similar to mine.

Standing with arms crossed and leaning against a closet door she says to me in a skeptical tone, "Well, you think that now, but I don't think so when I'm eleven..."

Well, OK then.