Your Female Andy Rooney

Is it just me or is the weather getting really freaky lately? Spring lasted all of a day here and then came summer. Throw in a few near biblical storms and I am beginning to think I might need hailing frog insurance.  I will not be wearing any striped stockings or ruby slippers any time soon.I put 'Remedy Oil' on my knees last night before bed. Not only does that make me sound old but it seems like something Laura Ingalls Wilder would have bought from a tinker by the side of the road.I told The Comedian that her whining "does not become her". Move over Joan Crawford. Betty Draper has apparently taken over.*Image from … [Read more...]

On Rush Limbaugh and FLOTUS

My undies are in a bunch this week on a few things and all of them round back to our dear FLOTUS, Michelle Obama.First up- her cause to eat right and get moving. The woman is trying to combat the epidemic of unhealthy eating and living that we as a country seem to think is our right.  Is nothing more American than eating a giant Big Mac with a boat load of fries or sipping on a Big Gulp?  To some people, it is their given right as an American to load up on the fat, sugar and sodium- health be damned.  It's a disease, an addiction for some and for others economical factors play a huge role in not being able to eat in a balanced, healthy manner.  Mrs. Obama's campaign is to educate and create a dialog as well as resources to get a balanced diet into all of us.  Our … [Read more...] Super Bowl Commercial Equals FAIL

It is probably no surprise that I don't like commercials, especially during the Super Bowl. Their obvious attempt at using scantily clad women to draw people to their product isn't even tongue in cheek or even a cute, cheeky attempt at humor.  It's just dumb and contrived.  Imagine my delight when I discovered the Network Solutions (I swear this is NOT sponsored) commercial starring Cloris Leachman.  Now this is an ad that makes me want to visit its website.Adding in Blogher's very own Lisa Stone is just an added bonus.  I heart commercials that show people I have met and talked to and worked with IRL.  Who doesn't?  It's true too. We "geeks" want real answers to our tech issues and questions not women in leather flipping their hair and showing … [Read more...]

The Thursday Crank

Things making me cranky this week-I took the all three kids to the dentist on Tuesday.  TD was getting her six month check-up and The Comedian was going for the first time.  It was 3 p.m. and I knew we were chancing it.  It could have been so much worse, I know that.  The Comedian could have kicked and screamed in the chair.  The Fifth Element could have cried and fussed more than she did.  As it was, corralling a two year-old while her big sister gets her teeth cleaned and simultaneously trying to rock a baby in a carrier while she screams is a tough feat.  When we got home I ate six snack sized Kit-Kat bars in a moment of stressed out weakness.  Yup.  Did I mention I also smeared them in peanut butter before cramming them into my piehole? Oh … [Read more...]

The Wednesday Crank

I don't know what is going on right now but people are seriously cranky out there today.  I have a cold and deadlines and I would much rather be laying in bed watching bad television and nursing this two week long snot-fest but I'm not cranky.  Except when I see this stuff then I get all firey, 'van down by the river', Andy Rooney like cranky- Amazon has a Kindle book for sale that is a 'how to' on pedophilia.  Yes, really. It's got us Twitter folks all up in arms.  Even those who may not have babes in them.  Just sick and wrong Amazon. Flag this as innappropriate, people. Let's get it off the site.That kid from the new 2011 Toyota Highlander commercials.  I sort of want to beat his little snot-nosed, leather bomber wearing jacket self up each time I see … [Read more...]

Things that Burn My Britches

I read this post by my friend, Kim today and now not only are her panties in a bunch but mine are too. I mean seriously, Wal-mart? Get on the wagon and realize you have to pay your bloggers for their work. I'm getting real tired of the whole,"your blog will be promoted through us..." as payback line. We're doing the work, we are finding your audience or hawking your products, it takes time and research, so pay us. Enough said. Then I got to thinking about other things that have gotten my undapeeants not just in a bunch but burned.- When someone writes a check. Be it Target, Smarmy-mart (aka Wal-Mart) or the 7th ring of hell also known as Safeway, I ask you this- Who does that anymore? I'm not saying you need to be swiping your little Visa go card all over the place but check writing … [Read more...]

Am I a Manners Nazi?

I tried not to get my undies in a bunch. I tried not to eavesdrop, I swear.In my defense, H was at the bathroom with T.D. and the restaurant was so quiet it was hard not to hear the conversation going on at the next table.Mother: "Put that game-boy (or whatever piece of electronic gaming device the kid had in hand) down! The dinner table is not the place and you've been on it for about five hours today! Give it to me! Now!"Kids meekly hands over gaming device.Father: Rolls eyes. "Why can't he have it? He's not bothering anyone."Mother: Exasperated sigh. "Why?! Because the dinner table or a restaurant is not the place for these things. We were not allowed to do this type of stuff when we were kids."Father: "We didn't have toys like this and electronics when we were kids! We had coloring … [Read more...]

Fear and Loathing- The Today Show

I realized something today.I hate the Today Show.No, actually, check that. I loathe the Today Show.Why?Because it has quite possibly the most insipid segments on it. They seem like a good idea at the time but then the advice springs forth and I find myself wanting a blunt object to gouge my eyes out to hide myself from the bullet points of tips and tricks.I never watch this tripe unless of course someone I know is on it and even then I DVR the sucker and fast forward through all the heinous parts and most certainly that last hour with Kathie Lee. You know what I'm talking about too. That last hour alone will deliver a slow death to your brain as it numbs it into submission and then sucks all and any self-preserving knowledge you might have contained in your noggin previously. That's it, … [Read more...]