You know what rocks?-Actually managing to surprise your best friend with a visit. E thought her boyfriend's mother was coming into town. Lo and behold, c'est moi! She jumped me like a spider monkey as soon as the shock wore off. That alone was worth the trip. - A $20 foot massage that really is a full body one. Why don't we have those in my area?! - Finding designer duds for less at consignment stores on Melrose and watching LA rich girls drop off never worn clothing while wearing tanks emblazoned with the words, "Trifling Ass Bitch". - Absinthe. I can see the point of that stuff. Really. I like a spongy world.-Having loads of time to hang out with my best friend that I haven't seen in a year and a half whether it was on the couch in our pj's, in a club, taking a walk or sinking our … [Read more...]
Notes from the Road #54
Scene: On the phone with H one night. I sit cross-legged on the bed, watching the black beetles crawl into my hotel room from the great outdoors. How many will infiltrate my premises tonight?V: I had to deal with Border Patrol today. The line was short but it took forever. Then they get to me and I have my ID out. I'm ready to answer any and all questions about live plants or contraband oranges I might carrying across the Texas/New Mexico border. It's not like I'm hiding anything inside the rental car doors or what have you. All the guy asked was this, "Are you a US citizen?" I replied, "Yes." "OK, you can go." He said. I guess a blond girl in a black mustang, well, you just don't get anymore American than that now do you?In my frequent travels this week (six states in less than … [Read more...]
Where’s Mummy- #34
Funny, I have yet to see a scene like this since I've arrived in the desert. I've seen my fair share of tumbleweeds, abandoned buildings and prehistoric dragonfly type insects that scare the beejeezus out of me. Oh and some vicious little black beetles that like to crawl under my hotel door at night and scoot around the floor. Frightening!It is more like this- My fine dining choices consist of Applebee's and Chili's and I'm done. You would think I could find an interesting little Mexican eatery but alas there is nada. Ooh, I'm already speaking the language. Heh. Did I mention that the hotel hair dryer doesn't work? I'm sportin' the most interesting do. It's part beach wavy, part matted mangy dog hair hot mess. I had to conduct a training session like that yesterday. Today I'm out greeting … [Read more...]
What We’re Not Going To Talk About
Are we going to talk about the delayed flight home yesterday? Nope.The jerk who made snide comments to my MiL on the flight home and then proceeded to yell at the flights staff, captain, and random airport workers as we deboarded the plane? No.How about the fact that we sat on the tarmac for an hour after sitting at the gate both in departure and deboarding? Sorry, no.We'll also not be discussing overzealous diaper changing grandparents who succeed in going through a whole box of diapers and wipes in four days. Poor T.D. but we're not talking about that either.Nor will we discuss the sheer exhaustion I now feel from only one day of traveling with a toddler even though I had help.I will only say that I adored having a TV back in my room and the Sleuth channel on Direct TV rocks! There is … [Read more...]
Lucky Me
Thank God that you can't kick people off a plane mid-flight. If you could I'm sure the woman in seat 15F would have thrown up the side door and ousted T.D. and I somewhere over Jersey. Seeing as opening that door would have killed everyone else on board or at least sent them into a drooling mess with them crapping their own pants her only alternative was to suck it up. Along with everyone else including me. Oh yes. I have THAT kid. The one who hates flying and screams during much of the flight. I should have known it was not going to be a barrel of fun when she woke up at 5:30 a.m. the day of the flight. Two hours before her normal time. She barreled around the gate making friends and flirting. She was just sooo charming. Who could resist such an imp? I was hoping that she would just … [Read more...]
The Trip/I Heart My Friends
Ok, ok already the trip. I hear you people. Seriously. I've dragged it out long enough. The trip to Los Angeles started off with this, "Excuse me, Ma'am? Is anyone sitting there?" This said by the twenty-something girl with boyfriend sutured to her side. Sigh... no one was next to me. They plopped themselves down and instantly the row reaked of pastrami and old sweat. Ick. Why? I huffed a bit and wanted to ask in a snooty voice, "Excuse me, but did you just get off a 12 hour shift from some all night Chicago deli? Do you work at D'anjelos? You smell like a D'angelo's. You stink! Both of you! Git!" Instead, I took out my tiny red leather book and started making notes. This seems to creep some people out and sure enough the old meat couple left. Aaah, a nice whole row to myself. … [Read more...]
Back to Reality
How is it that in span of less than 60 seconds the phone can ring, I burn myself with hot wax (and sadly nothing even remotely kinky was going on), T.D. falls off the bed and manages to eat a nice mouthful of diaper cream? How? I guess it was just the universe's way of welcoming me back to reality. Whoo hoo!It slushed here today which just makes me want to stay under the covers of my own bed even more. It was so nice to get into MY bed after a week away. I'm a weirdo about my bed and sheets so it's always the one thing I miss the most when traveling. I have to say it was nice to be away and feel like me again. Not someone's Mom or wife. Just me. I shopped without time limits, ate whatever, got hit on a few times, and ingested far too much salt and sugar than should be allowed. I'm … [Read more...]
Home Again, Home Again
Jiggity Jig! Corny I know, but it really is so good to be home. I was so sick of hearing that same monotonous voice declaring, "Caution! Moving sidewalk ends." as I went through various airports. It's the same voice. Over and over again. Didn't help that I was sitting near it at my gate in Chicago today. I'll do more on my trip later, all the little overheards from the airport, my take on L.A. another time around, and what Albuquerque is really like. Better than I thought I can tell you that, with the best Rattlesnake Musuem in the country I'm sure. Now I can say I've officially been there. There was something interesting I heard today while lounging at gate A11 in Midway airport. I was subjected the Maury Povich show and heard this tidbit. Apparently there is a rise in Hit Men … [Read more...]
News!
I'm on my second leg of my trip. Left sunny LA yesterday and flew to New Mexico. I'm having a blast! If you click on the title of this post you can view my latest bit of news- my feature story for Hot Mom's Club. Enjoy! … [Read more...]