Scene: Breakfast table. TD is headed upstairs to dress for school. The Comedian is still eating the last remnants of her cereal. I'm packing up her lunch, picking up items off the floor, and putting dishes in the sink. The Comedian: "Wash, wash, wash."Me: "What are you washing?"The Comedian: "Um. Myself."Me: "Good. You need to use napkins more. Good job!"The Comedian: "Yesss. Wash, wash, wash. Washing with milk."Me: "What?" I turn to look. While I packed her sisters lunch The Comedian has stripped down naked at the breakfast table and begun smearing her cereal milk all over herself. Me: Loud, audible sigh. "We don't wash with miiilllk. Ugh! It doesn't get you clean. It makes you smelly and dirty." I'm … [Read more...]
She’s Crafty. Sort of.
Actually no. Ask anyone and I will deny being crafty any time, any day of the week. There was that brief period in the late 90s where I scrapbooked but to that all I can say is, "I got caught up in the frenzy, man!" I am thrifty. I like being economical, hard times or not. Finding a bargain or way to save money kind of gets me all hot and bothered. It only seems natural now that I combined the two practices and came up with this idea for The Comedian's last birthday.Yup, I made cupcake toppers and it was free courtesy of Mooo.comFace masks for the "Cheeky Monkey" theme at Mooo.com. Only costs me a $1 for the sticks.The bags were bought at Micheal's in a pack for less than $5. Inside I printed out a coloring page and personalized door … [Read more...]
Two Turns Three
"Let's crush her!" I heard it plain as day even though she was whispering it to her older sister. The talking out of the side of her mouth, the sneaking and stealing of food, hiding out under furniture and popping up where you would least expect it. That's all Soucy. She's smiling one minute, charming you with her smile and the next she is telling you that "I yell at you! I put you in a trap and make you cry!" She loves eggs and not for eating. She thinks they are her babies that she can carry with her and carry around in blankets. She will eat all the fruit in your fruit bowl but you will never know until a day later when you grab an apple only to find half of it bitten and gone. The girl turns each apple or pear around each and every time. If you … [Read more...]
The Dead Rabbits vs. the Natives
While in marriage counseling this week (Yup, still going. Go Team Mason!) we touched on a lot of relevant things. How my work defines me, my need for validation and equality despite a continuous paycheck and a host of other issues that can cause marital strife when not addressed properly. Somewhere in this the subject of our kids came up. Our counselor made this observation-"Well, at this point they have formed sort of a gang." I glanced at H and nervously stated, "Great. We've got a roaming gang in our house. All the time. Our house if Five Points. " A pack of marauders. The kids are close in age and work together to achieve whatever it is they want around the house. Now that The Fifth Element is mobile it is even worse. "They are … [Read more...]
Your Preschooler
When you are a new Mom and you see the school signs of the school your child is going to attend to, you feel super excited. Then you become a parent and you don't have much time for that what with the spit-up, the 18 wardrobe changes a day (one for you, 17 for baby) and pureed food splattering your walls like the latest crime scene from Dexter. Months, years go by and you realize your inbox is still getting these sweet little updates. "This week your preschooler will love going outdoors and collecting leaves, acorns and pine cones. Make a fun collage, take pictures and enjoy the fall weather..." Reality: Hm... sounds fun. Except we head outdoors and she has no interest in the leaves or acorns. She wants to rip down my neighbors decorative yard border and pick up all the worms on … [Read more...]
It’s All About Men
We are a house full of women, four of us and then the dog. Yet our vocabulary is all about men. I have a tendency to say, "Man!" when I'm frustrated. At least it's not "Man, alive!" anymore. Thanks years of evangelical schooling where you couldn't even say the word, 'man', without adding something about life to the ending.The Comedian has been walking around the house over a year now exclaiming, "Aww..maaaan!" when things don't go her way. She then hangs in her head in Charlie Brown-like hang doggedness.Now we are in a whole new territory in vocabulary courtesy of the Tiny Dictator. "Mannit!"When she drops something. When she spills something. When she falls or gets frustrated, it's "Mannit!"I think we are starting a new trend, Mannit! … [Read more...]
The First Day of School, Knives Included
I'm no different than anyone else. I cannot believe that I have one child in Kindergarten now. Each day that I see her get on that bus I am surprised that we are already here. Then The Comedian says to me yesterday morning, "I have my knife in my purse. I'm ready for school, Momma!" Oh, Indeed. Preschool has begun. The knife stayed home. … [Read more...]
A Week with Soucy
TD went off to camp this week (I still get nervous each time I think of it) and that means a week with The Comedian as the big girl in the house. It's been a blessing and a blast. We've had quiet story time (something she normally doesn't sit through), taken in a puppet show and Recess Monkey concert. We had a picnic at Wolf Trap, spent mornings rockin' to the White Stripes and cuddled.Even better I have realized that without her Chatty Cathy big sister around The Comedian can have some actual conversations. I told her she was a ham and she said, "I'm no ham. I Soucy-Ham!" It's been a really good week. … [Read more...]
Working on Chicken
The office she set up contained her phone, laptop, a drink and a "blackberry". … [Read more...]
Kids with Knives
Most mornings I wake up to The Comedian shaking a jar of gummy vitamins in my face. Other days she just wants to come and grab a quick snuggle before she sets off on a new day and new path of destruction. Today I awoke with a sack of bread being thrown in my face. "Open! Open!" I complied as I knew that she was going to take it downstairs to her sister and they would have the ultra healthy and not CPS worthy snack of bread and water before I could make it to the kitchen. Wily little things, those girls are.I wasn't prepared for what I saw next.As she turns to leave the room with the now open bag of bread I see she has something else with her.Granted, it was a butter knife but still. She was carrying it just like that. I couldn't help but laugh at the perfect way in which she hid it … [Read more...]