At 8

  Last week I walked into your room, which is now your own little world, and as I stepped over the Lego creations, workbooks left open, abandoned paper dolls and bits of American Girl paraphernalia I saw just how big you have grown in such a small space of time.  I thought about how eight years ago your father and I were enjoying our last bit of time as a twosome eating  out numerous times sans baby carrier and diaper bag.  We had no idea what we were doing and I remember toasting to your one month birthday because you had survived our inept first month of parenting. Rollin' with my homies   TD, you have grown into a sweet, thoughtful girl who shows joy through maniacal laughter, wild eyes and a request for immense amounts of sugar.  You are half UniKitty  and the rest … [Read more...]

Seven Years In

  It is the night of your seventh birthday.  The house is quiet.  You and your sisters lay exhausted and asleep in your beds.  The last 24 hours a whirlwind of birthday streamers, balloons, sugar-frosted cakey dreams punctuated with laughter, fun friends and good wishes from family.  The only noise I hear right now is that of the Oscars droning on in the background.  I sit surrounded by a tiny golden light lost in the thoughts of the day as glittering stars smile their toothy grins.  … [Read more...]

First Day, First Grade

TD starting first grade. Last night I checked on the girls before heading to bed, something we do each night, and I looked at TD in her sleep.  She still looks so much like the infant she once was when she slumbers.  It's hard to believe that she is big enough to board a school bus, for a second year. Here's to TD having a wonderful first day of the school year!  I don't remember my first day of first grade too well, but I do remember my teacher Mrs. Tessio telling us about the skeletons that she had hung in our classroom windows .  She said they were kids who would have been second graders if they only they hadn't misbehaved.  Any day is better than that one! … [Read more...]

Abused Animals Will Love My Kid

We have only one TV in our house.  Wait, that's a lie. We installed one in our kitchen last night but it won't have cable.  It will only play music and movies on it.  This one TV has recently caused TD, our five year-old, some considerable emotional pain and suffering. In our quest to find a show that we could all watch at the same time we settled on TLC's 'The Next Great Baker'. The girl loves her some baking shows.  Cupcake Wars?  She would probably buy the box set.  My point?  At some point during 'The Next Great Baker' episode nine hundred and eleventy -the one where Buddy asks the bakers to make a cake that looks like man-eating flesh virus.  It's a classic-  one of those commercials played.  You know what I'm talking about.  … [Read more...]

It Ain’t Christmas Shoes

At many houses, I presume, there are holiday songs being sung and listened to all throughout the days. Christmas songs, Hanukkah songs, Kwanzaa (Oh my God, I could listen to this woman all day, she soothes me...) songs, you get the idea. I know my ears already started bleeding hearing the song, " Christmas Shoes". Actually, I almost took an axe to my radio hearing that just one time. I freakin' hate that song. It doesn't make me cry or feel bad. It just makes me want to hit stuff. Is that wrong? It is just so manipulative. I digress.In our house I don't hear "Jingle Bells" or "Away in a Manger", I hear this. Non-stop. TD, slumps to Jim Parsons perfection each time she belts out his portion of the song. I had no idea her normally high-pitched squeals could … [Read more...]

The Dead Rabbits vs. the Natives

While in marriage counseling this week (Yup, still going. Go Team Mason!) we touched on a lot of relevant things.  How my work defines me, my need for validation and equality despite a continuous paycheck and a host of other issues that can cause marital strife when not addressed properly.  Somewhere in this the subject of our kids came up.  Our counselor made this observation-"Well, at this point they have formed sort of a gang."  I glanced at H and nervously stated, "Great. We've got a roaming gang in our house.  All the time. Our house if Five Points. "  A pack of marauders.  The kids are close in age and work together to achieve whatever it is they want around the house.  Now that The Fifth Element is mobile it is even worse.  "They are … [Read more...]

The Golden Moment

TD is a rather mercurial child.  If you ask her how her day is going she is probably going to reply with an exasperated, "I don't know!" that is akin to a sullen fifteen year-old. Five=fifteen in attitude it seems. Then she is off singing in her polly pocket world as happy as a clam.  That is changing now that she has entered elementary school.  When I used to pick her up at preschool she was sullen.  She didnt' want to leave friends.  Kindergarten has changed all that.  I like to call this new stage, the golden moment.As soon as she spies me waiting for her at the bus stop each afternoon her face lights up. She runs off the bus, arms outstretched to me yelling, "Mommy!"  I get tunnel vision and see only her.  She is like this little drop of … [Read more...]

It’s All About Men

We are a house full of women, four of us and then the dog.  Yet our vocabulary is all about men.  I have a tendency to say, "Man!" when I'm frustrated.  At least it's not "Man, alive!" anymore. Thanks years of evangelical schooling where you couldn't even say the word, 'man', without adding something about life to the ending.The Comedian has been walking around the house over a year now exclaiming, "Aww..maaaan!" when things don't go her way.  She then hangs in her head in Charlie Brown-like hang doggedness.Now we are in a whole new territory in vocabulary courtesy of the Tiny Dictator.  "Mannit!"When she drops something.  When she spills something.  When she falls or gets frustrated, it's "Mannit!"I think we are starting a new trend, Mannit! … [Read more...]

The First Day of School, Knives Included

I'm no different than anyone else. I cannot believe that I have one child in Kindergarten now. Each day that I see her get on that bus I am surprised that we are already here. Then The Comedian says to me yesterday morning, "I have my knife in my purse. I'm ready for school, Momma!" Oh, Indeed. Preschool has begun. The knife stayed home. … [Read more...]

Overheards- A is for Axe.

Scene:  Bedtime.  I am reading the girls a story out of a Richard Scarry book.  As I read I point out objects on the intricately drawn pages and ask TD what each object is.  V:  OK, and what is this?TD:  A windmill.V:  Good.  And this?  TD:  An axe.V:  Great! What do you use an axe for?TD:  Um... cutting people up!  V:  (I burst out laughting and look down at her sweet upturned face.I caress her cheek with my hand and squeeze her little chin. Tiny pin pricks of tears well in my eyes.  She is my child! I smile.) Well, yes you could use an axe to cut people up but it isn't very nice and would hurt them a lot.  Unless they are already dead.  What you really want to use an axe for is cutting and chopping up … [Read more...]