That Dirty Degree

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date May 21, 2008.A while back I wrote a post for a blog exchange based around songs that meant something to you. I picked Still Dirrty by Christina Aguilera. Why? Because I am. As I mention in the post, despite passing a child through my "special" place I still feel sexy. OK, I admit, not every day and it is certainly harder right now as I find myself in the throes of pregnancy and being caught between my old clothes and maternity wear, but I do. Most days I feel damn sexy.There are a host of books, websites and even social networking groups about how to be a 'Hot Mom' and redefine yourself after motherhood. Why do you think all those makeover shows thrive? Most of them are Moms needing a lift. I admit, it is hard not to lose … [Read more...]

Detachable Penis

Scene:  The breakfast table.  It is barely 8 a.m. and I am working on my first cup of coffee.  T.D. sits across the table from me.  The Fifth Element is in my arms.TD:  "Mom?  How did The Fifth Element get in your tummy?"V:  "What?  Oh, you mean how did I have The Fifth Element?"TD:  "Noooo.... How did The Fifth Element get IN your tummy?"  V:  (Nervous smile, shooting eyes heavenward, thinking, "It is too early! Where is H when I need him?!")  "Eeehh, in my tummy. Right.  Well...." Swig coffee likes it is bourbon.  And then I said the thing I swore I would never say because it is so cliched and so cheesy and as H put it 'wildly inaccurate because any two incestuous rednecks can make a baby!"  I … [Read more...]