I need a healing right now. My mind is a whizzing blur of tangled thoughts. I feel like a glowing orb of sad feelings is just emanating from me non-stop. Starting marriage counseling is probably for the best. Once started though it gets the ball rolling for more open and frank discussions that are usually left unsaid. That seems so much easier doesn't it? Not in the long run for anyone of us I know but right now I feel like a pretty sucktastic person and mother. I'm too addled and confused to feel real relevant or like I am imparting any wisdom and life skills on anyone. So I'm going to do something nice for someone else. Crunchy Chewy Mama has a friend in need. Liz has always been there for Jessica when she was in need and now Liz, a mother … [Read more...]
Welcome to My Confessional
I will admit that being pregnant makes me insecure. It brings out the bad side in my body image issues. Post-birth it is even worse. Just before Dash Two was born H made the remark, "Oh great! You're going to get all obsessed and into your bad body image issues in a few weeks again. I hated that stage."Um.. yeah. Me too.Here's the really bad part. Combined with the whole "I hate that I don't fit into my pants yet" stage and "Damn it! I want to go running! Can I just stop bleeding already?!" I so miss the gym and the feeling of being free while on a good run, music pumping in my ears, sweat covering me and getting into a zone. I need that right now, bad. I get jealous of H for being able to do that. In fact, each time he mentions he is going to the gym I visibly flinch and curse … [Read more...]
It’s Beyond My Control
When it was hot enough to melt balls earlier this summer and my gym membership was frozen (trying to save a few laid off dollars) all I wanted to do was go there and do my morning walk. Ah, the cool A/C. The free childcare and the chance to actually move my body without having to push a stroller, bend down to retrieve a shoe, sippy cup or tossed blanket. It sounded like bliss.Bliss on an ice-cold stick.Now, gym membership unfrozen and the weather a bit more relaxed, the sheer idea of driving to walk indoors makes me feel nothing but waste. A twenty minute walk suddenly turns into an hour. Get TD dressed, make sure the hungry beast that is me is sated for an hour or so, water bottle? Check. Wrangle kid into car and off we go driving ten minutes to walk. It just seems so bizarre. When I … [Read more...]
Confessions
1. I hide candy throughout the house. Not even my husband knows where it is. Sometimes I get up late at night and eat it. Just a piece. I'm no binger alright?!2. I'm a terrible Back Eater, though I swear it gets harder to do by the day. Toddlers are clever and wily little sons of a guns. 3. I haven't cleaned my diaper bag in only God knows how long. That and I still carry that damn thing around despite T.D. being two. I can't downsize for the life of me and I want to. If some company wants to send me something cute and small that doesn't look like a diaper bag I'm all for it! And to think when I first had T.D. no matter how cute that d.b. was I still made others carry it because I was too embarrassed to be seen with a diaper bag at all.4. I still think the deep end of a swimming pool is … [Read more...]