Things You Shouldn’t Do

Feed the zoo animals. You shouldn't do that.Mix ammonia with bleach.  That's bad.Shave and eat cereal while driving.  True story. I used to see a guy do this on the beltway at least once a week.  You also shouldn't get the stomach flu and decide to forgo taking your meds and then forget to take your meds for almost a full week.  It can cause withdrawal.  Me, being wicked smot, did just that this Christmas and spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day in bed sick with what I thought was the flu.Again.Except, yesterday, after days of jittery nerves, total exhaustion (I slept 19 of the 24 in Christmas) and a sick stomach I had a thought.  A break in the fog that had become my brain.  I hadn't taken my Celexa in days.  Holy shite.  I'm going through … [Read more...]

It Ain’t Christmas Shoes

At many houses, I presume, there are holiday songs being sung and listened to all throughout the days. Christmas songs, Hanukkah songs, Kwanzaa (Oh my God, I could listen to this woman all day, she soothes me...) songs, you get the idea. I know my ears already started bleeding hearing the song, " Christmas Shoes". Actually, I almost took an axe to my radio hearing that just one time. I freakin' hate that song. It doesn't make me cry or feel bad. It just makes me want to hit stuff. Is that wrong? It is just so manipulative. I digress.In our house I don't hear "Jingle Bells" or "Away in a Manger", I hear this. Non-stop. TD, slumps to Jim Parsons perfection each time she belts out his portion of the song. I had no idea her normally high-pitched squeals could … [Read more...]

Shark Attack!

I might need to ask the man in the red suit for this for Christmas-AIR SHARK!!How awesome would this thing be floating around your house this holiday season?!Maybe this is better for the woman of the house though-Yeah, those are cats intertwined with the word, "HUGS".  Makes me feel kittenish just thinking about it... … [Read more...]

Giving It Up For Holiday Sanity

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post date December 11, 2007.Each year I make a promise to myself and to my family that I won't over do it. I won't over book us in holiday get togethers, parties and more. There will be more peaceful moments at home and enjoying each others company and less harried messes, traffic and season excesses. Each year I fail. I fail miserably. Last year I failed so badly it resulted in a teary exodus by my parents and them claiming they never wanted to stay at our house again. If that is not failure right there I don't know what is. It's also a damn fine wake up call.This year the invitations rolled in and faster than I could imagine we were booked from just before Halloween through to the new year. Before the holiday season was even … [Read more...]

Cats are the New Elves

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post date December 5, 2007.Despite the blustery winds and newly cold weather we decided last night would be the night to get our Christmas tree. Weez wicked smaht in our house I tell ya! Wicked smaht. We bundled ourselves all up to fight the cold and our daughter suffered her first bout of starfish syndrome. You know the starfish syndrome. It's when you get all bundled up as a kid and you suddenly find your arms and legs stiffly sticking out, your head in it's hat is the point of the star and you are in effect a starfish, unable to move your limbs. Her little eyes looked out at us as we laughed ourselves silly at her plight.When we got to the nursery where we purchase our tree each year I saw something dart across my path but … [Read more...]

The December 1st Countdown

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date November 26, 2007.  Growing up white candles dotted each window in our home on Thanksgiving day. When guests would leave we would turn them on and it was officially the Christmas season in our house. That weekend we would all head out to the tree farm and pick out the perfect tree. We would spend hours decorating it and putting up more lights outside. Our house quickly converted into a winter wonderland that wouldn't come down until after January 1. I loved every minute of it and it created beautiful memories for me as a child and an adult.Now an old married woman I realize I have married the Grinch. How I failed to realize this I do not know. Each year the rules get more stringent than the last. First, it was simply … [Read more...]

Finding My Holiday Spirit

You would think with all the snow we just had, which has effectively made our street a winter wonderland, complete with tons of black ice, I would be ecstatic.  "It's a white Christmas, everyone! Ho, ho, ho!"  Bah.  I still have cookies to make, presents to put together, and to wrap and lay lovingly under the tree. I say 'lovingly' because right now they are about to be chucked under it while taking a few ornaments off the tree as they find their landing space.  I am positively dreading the grocery store today.  I imagine after the blizzard and it being the week of Christmas the place will be prone to riots over honey-baked hams while other duke it out for the last wedges of brie.  While I go find my holiday spirit (Does Target still have some? Is it on sale … [Read more...]

A Barbie Dream House for Me

A reprint of a post from the past- all about a Christmas past.  Enjoy!  Be sure to check out MPR's Holiday Gift Guide- new items have been added!There it sat. Huge and under the tree. The tag insisted that I was correct, this big box from Santa/my grandparents was intended for only me. My five year-old brain was buzzing with ideas. I could barely contain my excitement. My mother kept warning me to stay away from the tree, "It's not time to open presents yet. Stop touching things and back away from the tree!" I think I might have done a little dance of protest before I backed away. I sat on my grandmother's paisley and floral couch and wondered, what could it be? A pony? It was certainly a large enough box. Then my mind settled on it. The only thing it could be. The only thing I … [Read more...]

Crazy Already?

Halloween is a scant few days away. The pumpkins are on the front step waiting to be carved. The candy hidden from desirous eyes and grabbing hands. T.D.'s costume has been tried on and test driven. She is ready to become Lord Vader. In our house the dog is the princess. Princess Leia to be exact. We are a month from Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and two months from Christmas. Yet somehow emails and phone calls have already begun popping up into my inbox and onto my voicemail regarding holiday menus and logistics. IT'S TOO EARLY! Isn't it? Am I being too nonchalant? I love the holidays don't get me wrong but the frenzy for Turkey day is bearing down and I'm already feeling the stress. Puff pastry? I'm in charge of puff pastry?! I HATE making puff pastry. I suck at it and it stresses me … [Read more...]