I woke up feeling a sense of panic this morning. Surely, it had to be almost 8 a.m. That seems to be the only time I have dreams bordering on the hysterical yet macabre. Having just broken free from the depths of my latest escapade within my brain-It regarded The Black Dahlia case being cracked wide open as I had just received a package that was not a product review but in fact a dead bird and part of a severed torso. I had the key to solving this decades old mystery in a plastic wrapped USPS box. Goody! Oh, and did I mention that when I called the cops to tell them what I had just received in the mail they sent over some of their finest. Also seen last season on the now defunct television show, 'The Unusuals'? I digress. It was just 6 a.m. and the girls … [Read more...]
Harry Potter Thinks I Need to Clean My Tub
They say that with pregnancy comes cravings, the frequent need to pee and a host of other fun things that we have either forgotten about or never experienced. Do they ever mention the bizarre host of dreams though?Since becoming 'with child' as H calls it I've -Walked in on Harry Potter making acne medication/potions in my guest bathroom only to then hear him complain about the dirty state of my bathtub. My father then entered the room and said, "Eehh, it's not so bad. I've used it plenty. Relax, Harry!" Hmmph. Good enough for me and I told 'ol Potter there that if he didn't like the tub then he could just 'magic' it clean himself and left.Had Michael Caine over for dinner. He wore a blue blazer, white shirt and a gold ascot. We had loads of fun and it was a fine evening had by all. I … [Read more...]
Ryan Gosling Hates Trans Fats
Another night and another dream with a celeb sharing advice with me. What gives? Is it the fresh New England air making me hallucinate enough to see Ryan Gosling berating passerbys?Or Dick Cheney playing slots at Mohegan Sun? Yes, folks. He's not in an underground bunker. He's playing slots and keno at Mohegan Sun. Run for your lives.Don Imus was watching street performers on the roof too right before the fireworks last night. It's a crazy world I tell you when you are living it New England style.So my dream. A young Ryan (think 'Remember the Titans Ryan) is standing on the side of a country road with a bunch of friends. They are yelling eco-world information at passing cars while hurling used plastic water bottles at them. I come upon this whole mess of a scene and say, "Boys! What are … [Read more...]