Quite often I am the lucky recipient of incredibly gross behavior that requires me to say things that are even beyond my disgusting, perverse comprehension. I am the one who wanted a book called, “The Wonders of the Scab.” Parenthood however has revealed a whole other level of nastiness. “Stop putting things in your butt and trying [...]
The Dead Rabbits vs. the Natives
November 8, 2011 By Leave a Comment
While in marriage counseling this week (Yup, still going. Go Team Mason!) we touched on a lot of relevant things. How my work defines me, my need for validation and equality despite a continuous paycheck and a host of other issues that can cause marital strife when not addressed properly. Somewhere in this the subject of [...]
The First Day of School, Knives Included
September 14, 2011 By 1 Comment
I’m no different than anyone else. I cannot believe that I have one child in Kindergarten now. Each day that I see her get on that bus I am surprised that we are already here. Then The Comedian says to me yesterday morning, “I have my knife in my purse. I’m ready for school, Momma!” [...]
I Call Uncle, I am a Parenting Failure.
July 28, 2011 By 5 Comments
I feel completely and totally inept these days. When I am out in public I feel like people are looking at me and thinking, “Lady, why in the world do you have three kids?” I know that I am outnumbered. I look around me and feel like everyone is doing everything better, easier and in [...]
Lessons Learned
June 30, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Every day is a learning experience or so they say. This week I learned the following- When you put cereal and milk into a sippy cup it creates a far greater mess when spilled than if you just hand your kid a cup of milk with no lid. Seriously. I think I am still scraping [...]
Kids with Knives
May 20, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Most mornings I wake up to The Comedian shaking a jar of gummy vitamins in my face. Other days she just wants to come and grab a quick snuggle before she sets off on a new day and new path of destruction. Today I awoke with a sack of bread being thrown in my face. [...]
Overheards- Toddlers with Knives
April 11, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Scene: The dinner table. TD, The Comedian, H and myself are seated and The Fifth Element is on the floor playing with toys while we eat. H: “We don’t hold knives over babies!” He says to The Comedian who is swinging her table knife* over the top of The Fifth Element’s head as she plays [...]
What No One Tells You About Parenting
March 16, 2011 By 3 Comments
I don’t know what I thought it would be when we decided to take TD to a psychologist. At first, I was just relieved that we would have someone to talk to about the tantrums and massive highs and lows. Then, I became totally freaked out that they would say it was all about our [...]
Marriage Can Be Fucking Hard- Part II
March 7, 2011 By 1 Comment
H asked me this question recently, “Does it always have to be this hard? Will it ever get easier?” I took him to mean our life as a whole and hopefully not just our marriage or parenting because man, once you put those two together it is just downright exhausting. They say the Army is [...]
Life in the Weeds
February 18, 2011 By 2 Comments
I keep thinking back to this saying I used to hear when I waited tables back in the day, “I’m in the weeds.” Truly, it runs through my brain on a continuous loop more and more. The addition of a third child factored with a two-year old and more has put me over a barrel. [...]
