My Bathroom, My Sanctuary

Modern day motherhood is complicated. Um, scratch that.  Motherhood, whenever it is happening is complicated.  It was never not compilicated.  According to a recent survey conducted by Ivory soap, 80 percent of American moms think motherhood is actually more complicated today than it was 20 years ago. Probably. I mean our lives are more complicated and the guilt is more complicated so why not, right?  The survey also found that 66% of Moms copped to hiding in their bathrooms for some alone time.  Yup, I would install a mini-fridge in my bathroom if I could and live there sometimes.  It is my go-to space for peace and quiet.  In no way sponsored but somewhat insteresting- Ivory recently launched The Soap Dish, a light-hearted social community … [Read more...]

The Golden Moment

TD is a rather mercurial child.  If you ask her how her day is going she is probably going to reply with an exasperated, "I don't know!" that is akin to a sullen fifteen year-old. Five=fifteen in attitude it seems. Then she is off singing in her polly pocket world as happy as a clam.  That is changing now that she has entered elementary school.  When I used to pick her up at preschool she was sullen.  She didnt' want to leave friends.  Kindergarten has changed all that.  I like to call this new stage, the golden moment.As soon as she spies me waiting for her at the bus stop each afternoon her face lights up. She runs off the bus, arms outstretched to me yelling, "Mommy!"  I get tunnel vision and see only her.  She is like this little drop of … [Read more...]

I Call Uncle, I am a Parenting Failure.

I feel completely and totally inept these days.  When I am out in public I feel like people are looking at me and thinking, "Lady, why in the world do you have three kids?"  I know that I am outnumbered. I look around me and feel like everyone is doing everything better, easier and in a less stressed out way.  I almost broke down in the middle of Target this morning when I couldn't steer the cart that is supposed to hold all three kids. A man in his 70s had to help me control them as The Comedian "houdini'd" herself from her straps and took off in the parking lot as I buckled the baby into her car seat.  I've been trying to keep a grip on all these welling emotions. Trying to stay in control.  I keep looking at the other side, "I have three healthy, beautiful … [Read more...]

That Dirty Degree

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date May 21, 2008.A while back I wrote a post for a blog exchange based around songs that meant something to you. I picked Still Dirrty by Christina Aguilera. Why? Because I am. As I mention in the post, despite passing a child through my "special" place I still feel sexy. OK, I admit, not every day and it is certainly harder right now as I find myself in the throes of pregnancy and being caught between my old clothes and maternity wear, but I do. Most days I feel damn sexy.There are a host of books, websites and even social networking groups about how to be a 'Hot Mom' and redefine yourself after motherhood. Why do you think all those makeover shows thrive? Most of them are Moms needing a lift. I admit, it is hard not to lose … [Read more...]

On Being the Judgy Mom

Like anything in life motherhood has me in a continuous state of learning. Not only do I grow as mother like my children do but as a person as well. Recently, I noticed something about myself and as a mother that I didn't like.I've started to judge. I hate that. I hate when other mothers and women do it in general. It's an easy trap to fall into, I will admit. Get a pack of women together and the judging begins before we even realize it. We judge how we dress, raise kids, keep house, have relationships with significant others, the list could go on and on. It serves no purpose most of the time. I think that under the guise of trying to learn how to understand each other better we enter into the dangerous judging zone. At least that is what I was telling myself a bit too often.She lets her … [Read more...]

Driving Your Car Into a River Does Not Make You Crazy

Lashanda Armstrong drove her four kids into the Hudson river last week, drowning herself and all but one child. Andrea Yates killed her children by drowning them in the bathtub. She thought they were possessed by demons. Banita Jacks killed her daughters last year and then lived for months with their decomposing bodies in her home. Are these women mentally disturbed or is something else going on?As I listened to 'Tell Me More', during my car ride down south, I was riveted by the topic that we women, mothers mainly, need to open up more and speak out about these feelings that are sometimes so dark and towards our children.http://www.npr.org/v2/?i=Going beyond two rounds of postpartum depression I can fully admit to having moments where as a mother I just wanted to run for the hills. Where I … [Read more...]

From Katherine Heigl to Zoe

This week The Comedian has pointed and yelled, "Mommy!" each time she has seen these two um, women.Yes, that is Zoe from Sesame Street. She is permanently three years old or something.  I know I like self-tanner, but really? That?And Andrea Canning from ABC News. You know the same chick that interviewed Ol' Tiger Blood last week.  It is all a far cry from when I was obviously younger and probably less tired looking and TD used to say "Momma!" every time she saw these two women.Elin Nordegrenand Katherine Heigl*Images from ashley2tripod.com, crixfix.com, sugarslam.com and stupidcelebrities.net … [Read more...]

She’s a Rock Star

I'm just going to say this and I don't care what anyone thinks- those women you see- those average, every day, non-celebrity women who have more than one kid they have tote around and are still in great shape. Those women are freakin' rock stars.Getting to the gym with one kid in a baby carrier and the other still not fully mobile is rough.  In fact, it is all sorts of demotivation in one giant diaper bag, sippy cup involving mountain.  Staying motivated to work out after the kids are up and in my face is hard too, but Shredding or doing Pilate's from home can be easier than treking to the gym.  Unless you face what I did today.  One Comedian sitting on my abs during sit-ups.  One Comedian hugging my legs as I tried to do jumping jacks.One heavy toddler putting … [Read more...]

The Yoke of Guilt – Part Deux

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post date March 18, 2008.Last year when I was new to the whole work at home Mom thing I wrote a post about the guilt I feel and lay on myself. It wasn't so much that I had guilt over not enough time with my child or family it was the day in and day out beating I gave to just me over staying home and continuing to work. I couldn't find the balance. I wrote-What it all really boils down to is that inherently in me I've always had issues with being at home. Now that I'm here in the daily mire of it and yes, the joys of it, I'm conflicted. I just can't seem to hand myself over to that domestic mommy. I can't and won't give up trying to write, no one wants me to, but I can't seem to find a balance that sits well with me. I can't seem … [Read more...]

Overheards- Alone and Starving

Just when you think you are handling your business you have a moment like this-Scene:  Target.  Do I even need to explain anymore?  I had bought a pair of basic, black pants on a whim the other day and picked up the wrong size.  I now needed to drag the kids right before lunch time to the store to return the small pair and get a size bigger.  Awesome, on all accounts.  TD had already lobbed a few hangers at me in the dressing room.  Apparently, Target is like, the most, um, boring place on earth and it is like, uh really impeding her life to be here.  Big Sigh.  Right.TD:  (Upon exiting the dressing room) "WHEN are we going to leave this place?!" (Insert big,  huffy sigh here.)V:  "In a minute. I have to (struggle with pile of … [Read more...]