I was watching the movie, Glory, the other night. I seriously love that movie. The first time I saw it, twenty years ago (gulp!) I cried for 45 minutes after it was over. I broke my rule of not crying in front of my family too. Maybe it was the sight of all those chest wounds that got me thinking, "I haven't done a breast exam since before I was pregnant with The Comedian". So I did one right there as I sat in my darkened den taking in the Civil War flick. What? As if weirder things haven't happened on your couch.That's when I found it. The gumball-sized lump laying underneath my right nipple. I should have known there would be something. It had been sore for the last day or so and I had just said to H that weekend, "You know, I am always dealing with your little sprains, bouts … [Read more...]
Retching via my Blackberry
I was all set to blog about my nervous feeling regarding my impending 5k this weekend, a first for me. That is until something decided it wanted to make a bloody good mess of carving out my insides this morning. At least that is what it felt like. I did the whole doling out the vitamins routine, changed the night time diaper, made a spectacular batch of oatmeal for TD and then WHAM! Just as I poured the dog food the queasy stomach I had been nursing for the last day just sucker punched me and I was soon lying on the floor of my foyer in a soaking wet, cold sweat. TD, being the good and dutiful classic eldest child fetched me a pillow from the couch and used her step stool from the bathroom to reach my phone so I could call H and almost vomit into the phone at him. If the sound of your … [Read more...]
Wouldn’t You Like to Get Away?
Yesterday was just like that bad. I had my woman doctor appointment and I got that whole "I'm mad that I'm female thing " going on, which rarely happens, except when I'm the one who has to deal with the whole birth control issue and my craptastic insurance won't cover what is probably the "best" option for me and I decide fuck it, I don't care. I'm getting the fucking IUD and I'll just make payments on my uterus or what have you. Thanks Mirena! Does my uterus owe you interest each month too? Anyways... then I head to my gym determined to be in a better mood because HUZZAH! it's time to sign up Dash Two for the gym daycare. Only there's this big ol' note on the front door and while it's after 9 a.m. the gym is really dark. Huh. Oh right- because they are closed. For. Ever. WTF?! And then I … [Read more...]
No, You’re a Douchebag
From the files of : Things I will not be reviewing now or ever comes... Waterworks Natural Vaginal Therapy. Works just like your ordinary douchebag without upsetting your "vaginal ecosystem". Yes, really. I'm not even going to go into how I cannot review a product like this in my current prego condition and I don't review items I cannot actually use or believe in using before writing them up. Nor will I get all twitchy about how yet, again, the PR company did zero research on who they were marketing to and how this is not something I would "endorse." But this? This just killed me. "Stainless Steel and Water. Using stainless steel with running water is a recognized method of eliminating the volatile sulfur compounds (VSC) that cause odor. The combination of a stainless steel … [Read more...]
Pee. It’s Not for Drinking.
Walking downstairs from my bedroom to the kitchen (because where else do you store a jug o' pee? Yup. Right there next to that bottle of Chardonnay that is not for sipping but cooking only now.) I tell myself, "OK. Remember, right hand is your water. Water is CLEAR. Left hand is the cup of pee. Pee is not for drinking. Don't get all baby brained out on me at the last second and try and sip from the pee cup, got it?" Yes, I'm mentally telling myself not to drink my own urine. It is a sad state of affairs. I wasn't feeling so hot this past week and when I developed a pain in my upper right side I decided I didn't want to go down the bed rest route like I did with TD a full ten weeks than when I was pregnant with her so I went to see my doctor yesterday. Just like last time I'm going in … [Read more...]
No, I can’t go for that. No can do…
(Are you singing Hall & Oates now? What about now? Am I crazy for lovin' them? H says it shows my remarkably bad taste in loser music.)Because it is day 45 (no I'm not pregnant) and I feel like I've been pmsing for the last million days (To those who live near me, I'm sorry. I don't like it either. I'm really trying to be nice, cuddly and such but my hormones are whack yo and it makes it hard to feel human-like) I'm posting things that irritate me or I just plain don't get.1. Chit-chat in the Express line at Safeway (aka the Seventh Ring of Hell). It's the EXPRESS line people. I'm all for a friendly customer-cashier relationship and all but when the line is four and a half people deep and that half person is trying to use the conveyor belt as a place to do the moon walk, read/throw … [Read more...]
Urgent Smurgent
Why do they call it Urgent Care... if.. well you get my drift. It's NOT! Urgent for those of us using it. Not so for the people working there. Maybe it's just the place I went to but it was a two hour wait for four people. Just for the waiting room. Where no one had any outward appearances of being sick. They must have all gone in for a UTI like me. Yesterday, I found myself suffering from some burning lower back pain. All too familiar to my kidney infection two years ago, where I had assistance from associates like The Kidney Docs. I procrastinated in a state of denial all day until H came home. Then feeling slightly dizzy I decided to join the oh so happenin' party that is the Urgent Care waiting room. The possibly pregnant teen with her mother. The movie the 'Little Princess' … [Read more...]