I didn’t grow up in a house that held family meetings. Being an only child it was basically “This is what your father and I have decided and the way it is going to be.” Like it or lump it and sure, go ahead and smoke out your bedroom window. You’ll get tired of that bad habit some day.
Yet it was clear that in our home, a family of five, we need to do things a bit differently. We are working with a lot of personalities, a lot of schedules and a short supply of patience more often than not. Between school, work, activities and just life we were all feeling disconnected and discontent. When my Mom gave me a Parents magazine a few weeks ago with an article about holding family meetings I sort of wanted to groan out loud and throw it in the recycling bin. As it happens insomnia encroached and I ended up reading it.
Family meetings? 22 minutes each week? YES! What a fantastic, problem-solving, way to communicate, answer to our prayers, terribly terrific idea! HUZZAH!!! Family meetings for all!!!! (Runs laps around the room in pajamas because still no sleep) This will begin IMMEDIATELY!!!
Here’s what really happened.
Monday- Fell asleep with magazine half-open on my bed. Woke up, forgot about article and put magazine in recycling bin.
Half a day goes by and I realize in a panic, “WAIT! Family meetings! Where’s that article?!” Dig through pile of recycling. Rip out article, toss rest of magazine. Place the article on H’s dresser.
Tuesday-Forget to tell H to read the article.
Wednesday- Tell mother I read article and we’ll be holding family meetings starting this week. Mumble something to H about the ripped pages on his dresser and tell him meetings will begin on Friday.
Friday- Take TD to school talent show after dinner. Oops. No family meeting.
Saturday- Had family over for the day. No one wanted to hold a family meeting after a day of playing and socializing. Watch Boardwalk Empire and fall into bed.
Sunday- Kids wake up at crack of dawn. Freak out over what to have for breakfast. Freak out about who sits where at the breakfast table. Take the kids to playground to play soccer. Kids freak out about choice of playground, use of balls, texture of dirt on field, possibility of rain, who gets Daddy to answer their question first. Kids are home in less than an hour and in their rooms until lunchtime. Kids complain about what they’re having for lunch. Kids complain about who gets what cup, plate and fork.
A FAMILY MEETING IS CALLED.
We took motherf*ckin’ minutes y’all.
No one could speak unless they held the purple Dollar Store party plate. We started it with a compliment for each person in the room. Each person aired a complaint or request and it was discussed. Solutions were found and in under 30 minutes. A small treat was eaten by all after a successful meeting.
The next few hours in our home were quiet, well-played and content.
FAMILY MEETINGS FOR EVERYONE!!!!
You want the article I read? It’s right here.
Good luck!
Vicky,
I love the idea of family meetings… however, with a one child family… do you think it would work? I read the article you posted last night and think that maybe it would be a great way for K to feel like she does have some power… maybe that way she won’t end up smoking out her bedroom window some day 🙂
Jenny
Jenny,
As an only I think it would be a great idea! I wish we had them for exactly that reason. A sense of power and that her thoughts and ideas are valuable are what these meetings are all about. Go for it!
Mom use to call Family Meetings every now and then. Mostly when Heather and I became teenagers. When I saw your post I actually giggled because I remember those meetings. Hope the meetings keep happening and continue to work well for you.
Oh and I love that you took minutes!!!