Taming Your Alpha Bitch- The Cost of Control

I’m happy to have a guest post by Rebecca Grado and Christy Whitman authors of the book, ‘Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and get everything you want!), including a fun quiz you can take at the end. Take the quiz, comment and you could win a copy of the book!

The Cost of Control: Is it Worth It?

Chances are good that there are at least a few controlling women in your life (you might even count yourself among them.) Breathe easy… most smart, successful women admit to being a bit controlling.

In the book, Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to Be Fierce and Feminine (and get everything you want!) Rebecca Grado and Christy Whitman show us how being controlling ultimately affects our health, our careers, and our relationships.

Control comes at a pretty steep price. Sure, we may feel important because we’re the ones everyone looks to for guidance, but how often do we find ourselves feeling exhausted and stressed out from trying to hold it all together? Yes, we may succeed in getting others to do exactly as we want, but are they doing it because they want to or because they feel coerced? We may take pride in how well-ordered our lives run, but if our hyper-organization leaves us feeling depleted and anxious, where’s the gain?

Maybe you’ve noticed that the harder you try to control others, the faster you drive them away. Pushing and prodding others only makes them resist the very things you’re trying to get them to do. Husbands, coworkers, and kids eventually tire of being nagged, nitpicked, and criticized. The more you try to ensure your own happiness by directing their every move, the less genuinely motivated they’ll be to please you. Our inability to tolerate anyone who doesn’t do things exactly as we want can end up destroying the trust and intimacy in the relationships we cherish the most.

Control also takes a toll on us both physically and emotionally. Because we’re so reluctant to let others take the lead, we end up shouldering many of life’s burdens alone—leaving us overwhelmed and exhausted. By insisting on micro-managing every aspect of our lives, we lose spontaneity, freedom, and joy.

Considering the fact that I’ve been referred to as Bree from Desperate Housewives and most recently Claire from Modern Family. I am taking this quiz!

Take the quiz below to see if you are controlling:

1. If a friend threw you a surprise party, you would most likely react …
A. Surprised! And pleasantly so.
B. Taken aback at first, but eventually able to roll with it.
C. Annoyed or even offended—you’ll decide how and with whom to celebrate your birthday, thank you very much!
D. A surprise party? Please. Not even your closest friend could pull that over on you!

2. After delegating a task to a coworker, you notice that her approach is completely different than one you would take. You …
A. Don’t mind how she does it as long as she gets good results.
B. Wish you’d been more specific up front about how you wanted the project to be done.
C. Keep close tabs on things to make sure she stays on point, and end up investing more time than if you’d done it yourself.
D. Take the project back. Who needs the aggravation!

3. When someone other than you is driving, you …
A. Relax and enjoy the scenery.
B. Hold your tongue, but wear a hole in the carpet from pressing on the imaginary brake.
C. “Help” the driver by offering suggestions about the best lane to choose and route to take.
D. You avoid being a passenger whenever possible.

4. If your significant other walks in wearing what you consider to be a less-than-coordinated outfit, you …
A. Casually mention that he might consider a more stylish look.
B. Appreciate his somewhat vanguard sense of style.
C. Give him “the look” and make him change his attire.
D. That would never happen; you lay out all his clothes ahead of time.

5. When you see your child doing a household chore at a rate far slower than you could do it yourself, you …
A. Offer to lend a hand, but allow time for the learning process to unfold.
B. Become anxious or irritated.
C. Practically have to sit on your hands to keep from taking over.
D. Jump in a complete the task the “right way!”

SCORING KEY: (1) a-1, b-3, c-5, d-4 (2) a-1, b-3, c-4, d-5 (3) a-1, b-4, c-3, d-5 (4) a-2, b-1, c-4, d-5; (5) a-2, b-4, c-3, d-5

ASSESSMENT:
Using the number that corresponds to each answer you gave, add up your total number of points.

If you scored 7 or fewer points, congratulations because you are not a Controlling Alpha.

If you scored between 8 and 16 points, you probably worry that letting go of control will lead to chaos—something you try to avoid at all costs—and feel annoyed, restless, or agitated anytime someone other than you is calling the shots. (Oh hai, that’s me! I scored a 14. Shocking!)

If you scored between 17 and 25 points, it’s highly likely that your controlling behavior is seriously undermining your relationships, your enjoyment of life, and your peace of mind. To instantly shift from Alpha Bitch to Fierce and Feminine, and to receive the download of the book for free just go here: www.tamingyouralphabitch.com

Visit Rebecca at http://www.rebeccagrado.com or Christy at www.christywhitman.com

Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!) Get a copy now! Um… or not. It’s not like I’m trying to control you or anything…