Where's Mummy?

Besides looking for cat naps and beginning to feel like a milking machine?  I've been up to a few things despite my lack of blogging activity. 

In review news I'm talking about Team Mom reviews including mOmma bottles and cups and Magical Moon Dough. 

The Toshiba Satellite U505 pretty pink laptop has left me sad since it has departed from my abode but the review is stellar. 

At Juno Baby I relay my deep, dark magazine addiction in "Confessions of a Magazine Addict", despite the fondue photo of TD I discuss my strategy in "Getting my Kids to Eat a Good Dinner", plus "Kids Day the Darnedest Things"

I promise there is more to come. 

Losing a Job- Like the Five Stages of Grief

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post date July 25, 2008.

It has been one month since my husband walked through our front door suddenly unemployed. Laid off. One month of us spending time together as a family, having long, quiet talks about everything from the state of our finances, job searching and health insurance quandaries to who we are as a family.


During this past month we have frozen our gym memberships, eliminated contributions to our daughter's college fund and taken away all of life's tiny luxuries that we often take for granted when stockpiling unnecessary items at the grocery store, Target and almost everywhere else. It's been all about less waste and less consumption this past month and we are probably all the better for it. I have however noticed one small thing.

Losing a job is similar to the five stages of grief. Since December my husband knew that lay-offs were occurring in his company. He also knew that he was no longer happy there yet he was right smack in the middle of the land of Denial. He refused to believe that he would be laid off anytime soon. It did not matter how stressed out I became with the possible situation. He was like a petulant toddler. I could not rip the mask of denial from his eyes and make him see that he needed to begin looking for work elsewhere.

As more cutbacks were made and more people eliminated step number two kicked in, Anger. His refusal to see the situation in its true light turned into anger about the situation in general and about having to look for more work. Nothing could make him happy. There would be no standard talks or even pleas to begin finding another job. He claimed he just didn't feel "compelled or motivated enough" to do so. To say that the anger was his and his alone at this point would be an understatement. I was infuriated by this lack of "motivation". It was a bit like trying to get a toddler to do something they really don't want to do, like potty training.

Suddenly, once the iron fist of full unemployment weighed down on him he was on to step three lickety split. Bargaining. Here is where my husband promised that he would no longer work on our real estate investment company's business while doing his next job. It was the quickest of the stages and produced one of my favorite results. Less burnout on his behalf, no longer working two jobs, with me in no way capable of keeping up relieved a lot of stress from our lives. It also reminded me of the tactics my daughter uses just before bedtime. "One more story Mommy? I will go to bed after one more story, I promise..."

This brings us to stage four, Depression. I wish I could say this one was swift as well, but it wasn't. For about one day a week if not more a funk would set in, especially the first week, and my normally happy- go-lucky, talkative spouse would suddenly decide that living in our basement/cave was the best place for him. He would skulk around the house staying up late at night forever staring at job boards on the computer screen becoming almost green from the glow. Growling and grunting became his standard forms of communication followed by long periods of complete silence and staring. As companies began to notice his resume and he garnered interviews the depression lifted and he became a bit more like his old self. If however, he didn't hear anything for a few days post-interview, we were right back into the land of depression.

The final stage, Acceptance is the most gratifying when it comes to job loss. With it has come extreme motivation to find a new job and some actual job offers it seems. While we are not out of the woods yet, health insurance won't kick in until October 1 and my pregnant butt still has to rely on the uber-expensive COBRA plan, we have found that we have not only do we stick together like glue but we have been lucky in this unemployed situation. Oh, and one more thing. That the five stages of grief are also akin to one full day living with a toddler.



Comments






MamaBird/SurelyYouNest said...


I was on COBRA while pregnant too (blechhh). Made me think long and hard about how lucky I was to have health insurance at all. Great post - hang in there, I'm impressed by your sense of humor and taking it all in stride *as a family*.


Reply July 25, 2008 at 11:37 AM Karen Waters said...


My husband was fired from his job of over 15 years two days after Christmas. I was shell-shocked, but it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to us. He opened his own business and is still running it successfully 8 years later.






I hope your husband's layoff turns out as positive as ours did!






Karen


http://findingme.typepad.com


Reply July 25, 2008 at 11:49 AM Andrea said...


You seem to be handling it very well, even while pregnant, and it sounds like some of the stresses are lifting. You're still in my thoughts.


Reply July 25, 2008 at 12:31 PM Liza said...


Ok, this post reminded me of why I love the Internet, and this community in particular.






Today marks the 2 week anniversary of my being told that I'm getting laid off, effective mid-September. C-section #2 is scheduled for 5 weeks from today, 2 weeks before layoff date.






Thanks for making me feel less alone.


Reply July 25, 2008 at 01:53 PM feener said...


ok, this post scares me b/c my hubby's company has been laying off for almost 2 years. he feels the pressure yet he has not sent one resume out. i have tried coaxing him...i always get 'i will soon' never to happen.


Reply July 25, 2008 at 03:08 PM BananaBlueberry said...


My thoughts and prayers are with you.






If it is any consolation- I know that I could not write such an eloquent and articulate post about my husband being laid off- while being pregnant.






Again, you have always been 'that smart upbeat mom' to me...






I'm thinking about you :)


Reply July 27, 2008 at 06:18 PM Vicky said...


Wow- everyone thank you so much for the continued support and belief in me and my family. It means so much and it makes me well up with emotion.






I guess I don't know how else to be besides trying to be upbeat at this point. I spent the months before the lay off sleepless and stressed over it's possibility and now there is nothing left in that dept. for me to give.

It's Nice to Know They Care

As I was running through the aisles, child-free and out of the house for the first time in over a week (huzzah!), this caught my eye making me stop in my tracks.  Is this a new attempt to counter-act that bloated, tired pmsy feeling? 

One Week Down

It's hard to believe that one week ago today The Fifth Element entered this world.  Before I couldn't imagine her in it.  Today, I already cannot fathom the idea of her not being part of our family. 

In just a few quick years we went from a family of two, plus one insane dog, to a family of five.  It absolutely blows my mind.  I still refuse to drive a minivan. 

Love how everyone looks so well rested in this photo except for me.  Shortly after this picture was taken I passed out for an almost two hour nap. 

More to come. 

Kid's Parties- Is It Just Keeping Up With the Joneses?

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post from February 27, 2008. 

My daughter turned two this weekend. Yes, I know, it is hard to believe. I can barely wrap my brain around it either. However, you know what the hardest part of her turning two was for me? It was- To have a party or not to have a party? It was the ultimate question on my mind. What would people think if we opted out of this birthday milestone? Would we be labeled as bad, unloving parents?


I drove myself mad with this conundrum. I wanted so badly for her birthday to go right I kind of freaked out. There were blog posts about it. I consulted friends and family. Everyone had an opinion and an idea of what I should be doing or forgetting all together. When it came right down to it I felt like my husband and I would be pretty bad parents if we went, what I call the "70s route".

The "70s Route" is a term I use whenever I refer to how things were done when I was a kid. Meaning, no big fuss, usually family-oriented and things were simple. I sometimes think my whole parenting style could be some bad retro comedy in itself except that I'm wearing 'flared' or 'boot-cut' jeans and not bell bottoms.

But I digress...

After talking it over with my husband and feeling that it would make no difference to our daughter we opted for a family day. Meaning just us. Not even grandparents. Why go nuts and spend gobs of money for a kid that did not fully absorb the concept of a birthday anyway? Instead, we made waffles for breakfast complete with extra syrup and let our cutie assist in the making of her cake. She ate raw cake batter too. Before breakfast. The shame. We took the tot to Toys R Us and had just as much fun as she did playing with balls, bikes and blocks. My spouse had to rip me from the Wii games section as I claimed to no avail that the trivia games and underwater discovery discs were for our kid and not me. We spent almost two hours wandering the aisles of this kiddie holy land until we decided to take her out for a birthday lunch. When posed with the question, "Red Robin or Thai?" She yelled out, "I eat Thai food!" So there you go.

It was a good day. Full of fun, presents (the kid got a cart of toys, clothes and more from friends and family) and good old fashioned from the box Duncan Hines cake with chocolate frosting. She wore a birthday crown and blew out her candles. She ran around the house on a sugar high yelling, "BIRTHDAY!" and I have to say I was a bit envious. That 'no care in the world' attitude is infectious but it is also hard to sustain as an adult.

It made me realize that all my fussing and analyzing over what would be the perfect way to spend her day was not only ridiculous but not about her and more about me. I cared more about how other people would view me as a parent if I didn't throw my child a party than I did about the actual day. That is not only insane but also not the '70s route' I so adore. After having all that fun in such an easy manner I've learned something. Next year? I'm not throwing a party then either. Unless of course she wants me to and if that is the case, then she can plan it.


Comments

Stephv said...


Right on for you for common sense. So much of kids stuff (comparing grades, sports teams,etc..) is for the ego feeding of the parents or the need to "look" a certain way. I say who cares?


Here in Silicon valley helicopter parenting has reached absurd


levels, preschools are chosen for their college cachet and God forbid little Katie eats a Cheetoh or anything that is not from Whole Foods.


Retro rocks.


Reply February 27, 2008 at 08:23 AM Gunfighter said...


Brava!






I think that you did the right thing.


Reply February 27, 2008 at 09:36 AM Linda said...


yes, I have to say that we've done this twice now and this is the first year...my oldest is turning four that he has even asked about a party, guests, cake, etc. We're still going the super easy route. Cake at the playground!!!


Reply February 27, 2008 at 10:20 AM Sue said...


That is MY KIND OF PARTY! Way to go. What is better than pancakes and raw cake batter for breakfast?






Another 70s mom here.


Reply February 27, 2008 at 11:20 AM Andrea said...


Good for you!! We like to keep it simple, too. No big parties. The birthday boy gets to pick what he wants for breakfast and dinner, though hubs likes to go all out on making the birthday cakes.


Reply February 27, 2008 at 01:43 PM natalie said...


Yay for the 70's route! I've got a 6-month-old, and I've found myself already thinking about how we'll celebrate his first birthday. Crazy, no? I love the family only silliness approach, and now have the perfect name for it. I keep hearing about the pressure to put together the perfect goodie bags for kids to take away from your parties - way too much stuff and way too much pressure for me! Thanks for this!


Reply February 28, 2008 at 06:49 AM Kristin DeLoach, Graco said...


I love it 70's style! That's the route my husband and I chose for our little lady. Simple, classic fun is the most memorable. Plus we wanted to keep it focused on the "guest of honor" and not everyone else.






By the way, to this day I still ask for that artifical strawberry flavored Duncan Hines cake with the bright pink strawberry icing -fortunately my mom stills obliges :)


Reply February 28, 2008 at 03:10 PM svmom3 said...


Two amazing first birthday ideas I've heard of:






a bubbles party. This one is all about the adults anyway, so pass the champagne (and have a few bottles of bubble soap for people who arrive with toddlers to play with) (I know several people who have gone this route; one who blames bubbles parties on why her kids are all spaced 1 year and 9 months apart)






a thank you ladies for your support party. Leave baby home with dad, and go out with all the women who supported you at the birth and beyond (midwife, doula, close friends, etc). go home and take photo of kid and cake later.


Reply February 28, 2008 at 03:14 PM Vicky said...


Awesome Kristen! I love the strawberry cake and frosting. That was my 6th birthday cake and I still think of it fondly!


Reply February 29, 2008 at 05:20 AM terri said...


my hubs grew up w/the full-fleged bday parties. my parents didnt have the means, just cake & candles. my hubs still smiles remembering. and i see the same in my friends' children, who would plan and anticipate months in advance. so for us, it's not keepin up with the jones, but creating these wonderous-filled moments for our children. cause to be perfectly honest, i'm alittle envious of my hubs' childhood.


Reply March 02, 2008 at 07:34 AM Violet said...


I'm so glad to hear someone else say this! My daughter turns two next week, and we're planning a day at the aquarium and a cake at home. My mother is SO disappointed with me, and thinks I'm terrible for not throwing a party, but we don't know that many kids her age, and I really don't see the point. She'll have more fun at the aquarium with us, and isn't she the one that matters?


Reply March 03, 2008 at 06:12 AM selfmademom said...


It's funny you wrote this because I have a post in queue that I will put up tonight about how I can't put on a low key birthday party no matter how hard I try. But I actually am having fun with it. I think that if it's not fun anymore then it's not worth it.


Reply March 05, 2008 at 07:05 PM children party clowns ny said...


such a very interesting post, i had fun reading it. i am sure your child's birthday party was a splash.

Is That a Hooker on my Block?

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Orginial post date June 15, 2008



It started with a late night knock on a neighbors door. Then another neighbor and another. Slowly, the houses on one side of the street all began experiencing late night visitors. Especially if they had a red door. In the last few weeks the street traffic on my block has increased and it comes in the form of a John it seems.

That's right. You heard me.

We seem to have some prostitution brewing on our street.

In an area that looks suspiciously like a cross between Disney's 'It's a Small World' village and the movie set of 'Pleasantville' our block has suddenly gotten a lot of late night callers. All of them heading to the same location in the dead of night. Many leaving in the early hours of the morning. One gentleman had the cops called on his butt after banging on the wrong 'red door' (Yes, they are indeed directed to a red door and not a red light. I can't make this stuff up!) of his "girlfriends" house last weekend. Instead of investigating the police just told him that next time he should have the address of his so-called girlfriend.

At first, I laughed it off. Seriously, a hooker on my street? We live smack in the middle of dulls-ville. Excitement happens when the ice cream man arrives or a dog is let loose. The HOA sends out notices about goose poop and unrepaired fence lines, not ladies of the night. However, the bevy of women in outfits that remind me of the streetwalkers typically seen at 2 a.m. on the streets of D.C. coming and going from one red-doored house recently have made me a believer. The sheer number of lone men that have begun ambling down our sidewalks in search of the red door only to go to the wrong location is no longer laughable but becoming a problem. The question is, how do we solve it?

As a street do we band together and fight against this house with its non-stop flow of traffic or do we turn a blind eye and hope that we are mistaken? For now, it seems a majority of the block is content to watch the circus go by each night. I, for one, am gathering evidence because who knows, it could be something more.

Comments






Yasmin said...


Wow! I would definitely talk to your neighbors, and maybe seeks some legal aid? Maybe they can give you a better understanding what your legal rights are keeping your neighborhood safe? Good luck!


Reply June 15, 2008 at 05:39 AM whymommy said...


If I were the other neighbor, I would repaint my door. :-)






Seriously, I don't know what to do, but I bet your local police would have some advice or tips. Maybe you could call them and just ask for advice? Mention that you have kids and it's strange to now have such traffic going through the neighborhood (by car or on foot)? Mention that you're worried, and ask for advice on how to handle it?






Be careful about confronting the neighbor, though ... your safety must come first.


Reply June 15, 2008 at 08:24 AM whymommy said...


If I were the other neighbor, I would repaint my door. :-)






Seriously, I don't know what to do, but I bet your local police would have some advice or tips. Maybe you could call them and just ask for advice? Mention that you have kids and it's strange to now have such traffic going through the neighborhood (by car or on foot)? Mention that you're worried, and ask for advice on how to handle it?






Be careful about confronting the neighbor, though ... your safety must come first.


Reply June 15, 2008 at 08:24 AM Lawyer Mama said...


Holy crap! If the police won't do anything, trying contacting your city council. Or whatever they call it in a county. (I can't remember!) When we lived in the City of Falls Church & had problems getting a sewer issue fixed, we called the City manager (who is an elected official, I believe) and it was taken care of in 24 hours.


Reply June 16, 2008 at 09:14 AM Jenni said...


We had a neighbor that my husband and I jokingly called the "neighborhood hooker" because she always seemed to have daytime visitors of the male persuasion while her husband was at work.






It was a joke to us....until she was arrested last year!






Needless to say, the street is much quieter now!

Not So Disposable

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post date December 24, 2007.

We all know that once you have kids messes are made all the time. Almost every 2.5 seconds it seems and there is more trash than you ever thought possible leaving your home. If you own a diaper genie or some other stink holder then you know that the trash you put out more than doubles once that cute bundle arrives. It is like the diapers are having diapers inside that contraption. Diapers that clog our landfills and linger for years to come.


There must be something we can do right? There must be a better way that does not involve those cloth diapers. Because really? We are not all cut out for the washing of the poo. This video, Not So Disposable, by Dana Hackley, gets to the nitty gritty of what diapers are doing to our world. She offers yet another way to possibly solve this diaper dilemma by lobbying our state legislature to find a way to recycle them. A company called Knowaste already does this with great results in the UK and even here in this country. When you consider the fact that diapers, including adult ones, are one of the only household items not to be recycled these days added in with the 500 years it takes for them to decompose it doesn't take a math genius to realize we have a big problem on our hands.

It is incredibly easy to just throw those diapers away. They are disposable after all. Who wants to deal with safety pins, expensive diaper services, and washing nappies late into the night when you are already a sleep deprived parent to begin with? Our grandmothers and many of our mothers did it. So why can't we? I was a cloth diapered baby for purely economical reasons as was my spouse. I oddly didn't even think twice about an alternative to the Pamper when my daughter was born despite my preoccupation with natural baby products, organic food and a whole slew of other green techniques I institued in our house.

It wasn't until Dana's video that I really began to squirm in my seat and realize the mess I was creating from well, my daughter's messes. However, even when presented with the facts I'm at a loss on how to really begin finding a new alternative to buying that ginormous box of gel inserted diapers every two weeks. I applaud Dana's efforts to seek an alternative to disposable diapers because we aren't all cut out for the cloth nappy technique. We really should be finding other options out there. I think just speaking up about it opens a whole new realm for discussion and thought. I welcome anyone's suggestions on how to get this started in the DC Metro area or if anyone has experiences using products like the g-diaper or vinyl pants. That one I just can't wrap my brain around.

Comments


Bonacci said...


In Toronto, recycling of diapers has been in full swing for several years now. The "green bin" program allows all organic wastes, bones, and sanitary products to be recycled. All the surrounding cities have started taking part now also. To enforce the recycling programs, the city now limits garbage pickup to once every two weeks, and there is a two bag limit per pickup.






At first it's something you're not particularly happy about, but when you start to realize the benefits and finally get into the routine, it's great. My finance and I are down to about a half bag of trash every two weeks... There are so many things that are recyclable in our city now that it's pretty difficult to generate a lot of trash.






Bonnaci


Reply December 24, 2007 at 06:48 AM ElleDee said...


It's really not that hard to adapt to using cloth diapers if you sign up for a diaper service. With our second child, I'm considering washing our own though, although I'm feeling a bit apprehensive about it. (I need to research if the diaper service's use of water is more efficient, for example; anyone know?). I've collected a lot of diaper covers and although you have to change wet diapers more frequently, it's not that bad. We did use a paper diaper at night though because our daughter was such a heavy nighttime wetter. This is a good site about using cloth diapers - http://www.diaperjungle.com/washing-cloth-diapers.html


Reply December 24, 2007 at 10:58 AM Vicky said...


Wow Leslie, Thanks so much. I had no idea about the paper diapers for nighttime either. I will definetly check this out!

Verizon Customer Service is No Friend of Mine

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post date February 15, 2008.

Scene: My home, afternoon, precious nap time/work minutes ticking away. I am on deadline. My Internet connection goes down and after fiddling with it all day I decide to call Verizon.




After spending a few minutes on hold I am finally put through to a person who doesn't sound like she is from halfway around the world. Is this even possible? That has never happened before! Yet, her voice does sound suspiciously not human. I've verified my name, number, address, H's name, my third cat's birthday and how old I was when I learned to ride a bike and I think, "Are we done yet?"

Customer Service Rep: Please state your telephone number again ma'am.

V: 875-3425.

CSR: Is that 759-3324?

V: No, (tight smile forms on my face) 875-3425.

CSR: 875-3427? Is that correct?

V: N00... 8 7 5 3 4 2 5

CSR: Let me make sure I have this correct. 875-3425.

V: YES!

CSR: OK ma'am, do you have an alternate number in case this line goes down?

After a repetition only slightly more painful she gets the second phone number correct. I have already silently asked the phone if she is on crack and pulled the phone away from me to glare at her from a far.


CSR: OK ma'am, what seems to be the problem? Your phone line?

V: Uh..no. It's my Internet connection. That is why I called the DSL hot-line. It says it is working but when I repair it the computer says it is my provider not the computer. All systems are go on the router and modem.

CSR: What color is the modem?

V: Seriously? It's beige.

CSR: Beige? (this color seems to have confounded her) Beige..., she mutters, as if she has no idea what color I am talking about.

V: Or tan? Ecru? Maybe a light grey? There is a slightly toasty look to the top now from having the router on top of it. (oops)

CSR: Are you the wife of H ma'am?

V: (What the.. weren't we just talking about my modem?) Yessss.....

CSR: What lights are blinking on the router ma'am?

V: All of them. The ethernet, the ready light and the power light.

CSR: The power light, the ready light, the Internet light and the USB?

V: USB? No. (Never mentioned this light and I repeat them for her twice)


At this point she starts asking about lights that I've never heard or seen on the router. We go through the same rigmarole that we did with the phone number. I'm on her to game. She just wants me off the phone. She wants me so frustrated that I hang up and never call Verizon support again. She has even begun to snicker at me when I repeat things back to her for the third time.

CSR: You are using a phone right ma'am?

V: WTH? Yes. I am using a phone. That's how people call each other these days. Those new fangled telly-phone dee-vices.... Ugh.

I am now crawling on my knees as she has instructed pulling on cords and wires. I am out of breath and very annoyed. She keeps getting the terms router and modem confused causing all sorts of calamity. As I get up off the floor I notice dog poop.

Dog poop.

When was the dog in here because this just happened. As I listen to CSR yammer on about wires and connections I silently curse my dog and begin to clean up the mess. At this point I have shut off everything, turned it on, shut if off, and turned it on again. I type in some ridiculous website address and am asked.

CSR: Do you see the map ma'am?

V: Yes! yes I do! (I'm starting to feel like I might in an episode of Lost) Do I touch a button? What does the map mean?

CSR: Close it down ma'am. You don't need to mess with the map. Now shut everything off again.

V: Are you messin' with me lady? What is the map for? I need to know!

CSR: Don't worry about the map. You'll see it again.....

She has established that my DSL connection and modem are fine. My computer is fine. The router is not her problem or her company's so she blames it on them and says all is fixed. Except I still don't have my WIFI and I don't work on the desktop. Forty minutes and 34 seconds of work/nap time are gone. Poof!

CSR: Ma'am, on a scale of one to ten would you recommend Verizon customer service to a friend or family member?

V: Just leave me alone... Haven't you done enough to this family today? Just tell me what the map means....




Comments




Jill Asher said...


Ok, now I am scared... I JUST switched over my cell phone service from Sprint to Verizon. We had to do this because my husband was not getting SPRINT coverage in his new office, and absolutely needed to be able to use his cell phone at work.






I have to say, switching over was somewhat painless - though now I am scared that if something goes wrong, I will have to deal with something similar.... Ugh.


Reply February 17, 2008 at 09:50 AM Amy@UWM said...


Hilarious...um...I mean...outrageous! Totally wrong!!! Bad Verizon.






Had to laugh, though, because it's usually when I'm screwing around with my router that I find the dog poop in my house.


Reply February 17, 2008 at 04:30 PM Nita said...


Lets not even get me started on my Verizon FIOS customer service experiences! Needless to say, I had local media interested after receiving my $1200 bill last year. Also, I have been trying for 3 months to return 2 cable boxes to no avail....






I got Vonage for my home phone. I only keep the internet service because my engineer husband would kill me if he lost his speed.


Reply February 18, 2008 at 10:08 PM Charissa said...


I had problems when I first signed up for the big V. I kept calling they would tell me the same thing, shut off computer, check connection, etc.. Well long story short after two weeks of trying to get things up and going they decide that there was a problem on their end, and then abmb I had a connection. I was feed up with them at this point and was threating to cancel, they gave me 3 months free to stay on. I agreed and haven't had any problems since. Nock on Wood..


Reply March 05, 2008 at 06:40 PM Bianka said...


We have Verizon internet service.. My husband has spent a grand total of about 6 hours on hold waiting for a "tech guy".. once a 2 hour stretch in one sitting. Still haven't gotten results.


Yesterday I saw a commercial for PREMIUM VERIZON CUSTOMER SERVICE for $14.99 a month.. yes, they are asking you to PAY FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE. I am fed up with them and will soon be switching to another provider.